Little Old Fat Girl

The last new blog, I swear ....

2011-01-19T16:42:00.002-06:00

You can find me here.

Things, they are changing

2010-01-05T12:38:00.002-06:00

I can now be found on Wordpress, as An Uncommon Girl.

Turkey Trot 5k race report

2009-11-30T16:57:00.000-06:00

TB and I registered for a 5k on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving. Here is a recap:

Weather: very cool (37 degrees), with clear skies and very little humidity

Course: It was a cross-country race, so it was very different. We ran around a pond, several soccer fields and a bunch of baseball fields. The terrain was made up of concrete, wet grass, dirt, and mud.

Physical condition: I felt really good. I never felt short of breath and my legs felt fatigued only very briefly while going through mud or uphill. I purposefully started off slow to make sure my breathing stayed good. I could have run farther, but I'm not sure how far (maybe another mile, but certainly not two).

Results: I ran the WHOLE WAY! I really still can't believe it. I just set my mind that if I could run 25:00, then 35:00 or 40:00 would not be that much more - especially with a goal in mind. I finished in 39:31. I was very pleased with that, since my previous 5k race in September was 44:53. I looked up the results this morning and found out that I came in 4th place in my age group. If I would have been 11 seconds faster, I would have gotten a medal for 3rd place! I really would have fainted if I got a medal on my first real race, but it gave me a little boost to run a little faster in the next one.

Gobble, gobble

2009-11-30T16:44:00.000-06:00

Tuesday (11/24)
Weight - 182.8
Swam - 50 lengths (25 meters) in 50:00
Ran/walked - 2.0 miles in 30:11

Wednesday (11/25)
Weight - 181.0
Spin class for 50:00
Swam - 50 lengths (25 meters) in 50:00

Thursday (11/26)
Walked 3.75 miles in 90:00 (3 different walks)

Friday (11/27)
Turkey Trot race - ran 3.1 miles in 39:31

Saturday (11/28)
Walked 1.41 miles in 26:42

Sunday (11/29)
Weight - 181.2
Walked 2.0 miles in 38:39

We had a great time at the fam's. I ate way too much of the things I should stay away from. Happily or sadly, I became sick on Friday afternoon. I ate too much on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Then, I ate too little on Saturday and Sunday. It all evened out and I only gained .2 pounds. At first I thought I was sick from too much rich food, but now I think I have strep throat. So, I am going to lay as low as possible until I feel better. Stay tuned for a race report!

A crashed computer and a change of scenery

2009-11-24T09:44:00.000-06:00

Well, you may be wondering why I have been so quiet. My computer crashed last Monday and it took until Thursday to have it fixed. So, by Thursday, I was quite behind on everything. I am leaving in the morning for a 5-hour trip - home for the holidays! I have been very busy since the computer resurrection trying to push 10 days worth of work into 4. I will give a brief training summary, then talk about the change of scenery:

Friday (11/13):
Weight - 183.4
Walked 2.0 miles in 38:00
Strength - BFL-UB for 20:00

Saturday (11/14):
Weight - 183.4
Ran/walked 3.75 miles in 75:00
Rode 12 miles in 35:49
Swam 50 lengths (25 meters) in 45:00

Sunday (11/15):
Weight - 184.3
Walked 2.25 miles in 45:00

Monday (11/16):
Weight - 184.7
Walked 2.0 miles in 35:00
Rode 10 miles in 30:00
Strength - BFL-LB for 20:00

Tuesday (11/17):
Weight - 183.6
Ran 2.0 miles in 31:50
Swam 50 lengths (25 meters) in 45:00

Wednesday (11/18):
Weight - 183.9
Walked 2.0 miles in 35:00
Spin class - 17 miles in 50:00

Thursday (11/19):
Weight - 183.0
Ran 2.0 miles in 25:49
Swam 50 lengths (25 meters) in 40:00

Friday (11/20):
Weight - 183.0
Strength - BFL-LB for 20:00
Did absolutely no cardio exercise - just partied down with the fam for my birthday

Saturday (11/21):
Weight - 183.9
Ran 2.81 miles in 39:56
Swam 50 lengths (25 meters) in 45:00

Sunday (11/22):
Weight - 3.75 miles in 56:00

Monday (11/23):
Weight - 184.3
Ran/walked 2.0 miles in 28:37
Rode 10.3 miles in 30:00

Tuesday (11/24):
Weight - 182.8! (finally off of 183!)

I think that I will be updating the training log portion every week, instead of everyday. I will be posting other tidbits during the week, but I am going to leave the details for a weekly summary. Also, I think I have ourgrown my goals. I really can't even remember my goals, so I will restate or reinvent them here:

Running - I rock!
I have been following the Couch to 5k program and I am beginning the 6th week. On Saturday, the program called for a 20:00 run. Yes, from the same girl that was whining 2 weeks ago about an 8:00 minute run. Something has happened, the light switch has come on. I like to run - I don't even hate it anymore. I have found that all of the "problems" of running - shortness of breath, creaky joints, "I'm gonna' die" - all evaporate after about 5:00 minutes of running. When I get over the hump, it turns into joy. So, I have found myself running on non-running days. Last night, I was supposed to be walking, but I ran 75% of each 1/3 mile loop. I ended up running my 2 miles in 28:37. This was taking my 38:00 pretty consistently about 1 month ago. Amazing! So, I now need an adjustment. I am not even going for the 30:00 the doctor had ordered. So, I have determined to run/walk for 30:00 plus cool down - no matter how far that is. I am even contemplating running to and from work instead of the dangerous biking I had been considering.

Biking - stale city
I need to find a new love for biking. I am getting MB a bike for Christmas, so maybe that will get me more enthusiastic about it. Or, maybe he will drag my butt out there for rides, even when I don't feel like it. In the meantime, I need to get a spin workout for my iPod so that I can have a good workout when a class is not convenient. Riding the regular stationary bike does not seem very challenging and I am not creative enough to come up with a spin routine on my own.

Swim - just keep on keeping on
This is going very well. Nothing to shout about, but I like it and I feel good when I am finished. I will probably keep on with my self-made, 50 lap routine until it becomes stale city.

Strength - Give in!
My strength training is sucking pond water right now. I feel like I am going through the motions during weight lifting days and have been skipping the core workout days completely. How much effort does it take to do a 15:00 minute routine? I have been so sluggish in this area - why? I am purchasing the p90x thingy for Christmas - mostly for MB. I am making a threat to myself - if I don't do the p90x, then I am going to have to complete the 30-day shred and find a core workout routine for EVERY DAY! So, maybe that will work. You know how I love Jillian!

OK, so we're caught up. I am leaving in the morning and will try to update with a race report from the 5k I am running on Friday. Have a great Thanksgiving!

39 - and feeling fine

2009-11-20T09:09:00.001-06:00

I wrote the following just shy of my 38th birthday last November:

By the time I am 40, my goals are:

1. Read through the Bible two times
2. Have a habit of daily prayer
3. Completed or prepared for a mission trip
4. Be physically fit and healthy
a. Weigh less than 200 pounds
b. Be able to walk 1 mile everyday comfortably
c. Be able to occasionally jog a 5k comfortably
d. Be able to do any normal activity (get off of the floor, tie my shoes) comfortably
5. Complete and pass the CPA exam.
I am 16 days from my 38th birthday. If I don't draw some sort of line, I will remain obese and miserable. My size and lack of physical fitness effects almost every part of my daily life. What is not effected by my lack of fitness and health, is effected by my prayerlessness and lack of Bible study. My prayer is that I can reverse these bad habits and patterns and celebrate my 40th birthday in a much better shape - internally and externally.

"Rules"
1. I will read the daily portion of a One Year Bible every day for the first year and choose a method to complete the Bible again in the 2nd year.
2. I will walk 1 mile everyday - no excuses.
3. After the first year of walking and exercise, I will sign-up for 5k races in this area.
4. I will do any type of exercise that will improve my fitness, flexibility and stamina at least 3 times per week.
5. I will eat healthy foods. I am not going to be caught up in a diet, but I will choose whole foods and try to reduce processed foods.
6. I will weigh on the 20th of each month. I am not going to be hung up about my weight, but I will chart it to make sure I am on track. I will need to lose at least 3 pounds per month.
7. I will begin a study that will allow me to pass the CPA exam before 11-20-10. I will begin taking the exam in April of 2009.

Well, I am celebrating my 39th birthday today and I have accomplished a lot of these goals - especially the fitness-related items. I am extremely gratified that I made some goals, pursued them and have had success at them.

The areas that still need work are the Bible reading and daily prayer. I am resolving today to take care of this one like I have the fitness area. I will buy a One Year Bible today and just do it - blindly, without excuse, without fail. I would be a much happier and more fulfilled person if I could get back into a stronger prayer habit. I know it is necessary and I know that it should be at the top of that list.

CPA exam - I am just not sure about that one. I really want to complete it, because it is something that I started and I like to finish things that I have started (and spent a good bit of money on). I REALLY like my job, and I would like to retire from this job. So, I don't need the certification for my job. That makes it hard to get motivated. The only real motivation I have is just completing a goal to say it is complete. Another factor is that after I train between 1.5 and 2 hours a day, work, cook, spend time with the fam and sleep - there is not a lot of my time left. I will have to decide on this eventually, but it is way back on the back burner right now.

So, there is my yearly summary of sorts. When I made this last year, I could not imagine where I am now physically. I am so fortunate to have lucked upon a doctor and medication that worked. I know it is luck - I have tried LOTS of other things. When I wrote this, I was determined to try this method and when it did not work then go onto lap band. I am so glad that I did not have to do that. Don't get me wrong, I would have and I would have been glad for the results, but I am happy that I did not have to "go under" and make a modification to my body's design. You can tell by my goal, under 200 pounds, within 2 years that I was not feeling positive about my ability to get it done this quickly.

Wow, what a good year! I told MB the other day that it sure feels weird to be better as I get older. You know how some people say, "when I was in high school, i could (fill in the accomplishment)". Well, I have always been overweight to obese. I ran my first mile at 38 - so it only gets better from here.

Thursday (11/12)

2009-11-13T08:56:00.000-06:00

Weight - 184.1
Calories/fat grams - 1035/23.7

Swam 50 lengths (25 meters) in 45:00
Ran/walked 2.0 miles in 29:16 (couch to 5k - week 5, day 2) - kind of*
Strength - Around the world abs for 15:00

*Up until this week, the intervals have been the same every day during the week. Yesterday, I started up my C25k app on my phone and took off. On the first interval, where I would normally run 5:00, it kept going and going and going. So, I took out my phone to check it out. It said I had to run 8:00. So, I turned it off and ran/walked the normal pattern 5:00/3:00/5:00. When I checked on it later, the interval changes in the middle of week 5! So, I kind of did it. I will be repeating this week, so I am just going to shoot for 8:00/3:00/5:00/3:00/8:00, and not get too upset if I don't make it. I will get another chance next week.

Wednesday (11/11)

2009-11-12T08:15:00.000-06:00

Weight - 184.3
Calories/fat - 1371/31.3 (had a frozen pizza craving)
Spin class for 50:00
Walked 2.0 miles in 37:08
Strength - Lower body BFL for 20:00

Today's quote from Runner's World:
Believe that you can run farther or faster. Believe that you're young enough, old enough, strong enough, and so on to accomplish everything you want to do. Don't let worn out beliefs stop you from moving beyond yourself.

Watch out for your worn out beliefs, they will keep you from doing many things. I find that I have to remake my beliefs all of the time. I really am changing from what I was, so I shouldn't hold onto those old beliefs about what I can do and how fast I can do those things. Go into your day with an open mind, you may suprise yourself.

Tuesday (11/10)

2009-11-11T14:14:00.000-06:00

Weight - 186.5
Calories/fat grams - 816/13.4
Swam 50 lengths (25 meters) in 40:00
Ran/walked 2.0 miles in 29:24 (couch to 5k - week 5, day 1)
Strength - Around the world abs for 15:00 (moved up to 15 reps)

Wow, I did not eat enough yesterday! That is a new one. I try to wait and eat after I run, since I am prone to making myself sick if I don't. Then, I don't really feel like eating afterwards, either. So, it seems that my Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be good dieting days. I knew I had not eaten enough, but I was too tired to care and I went to bed with my stomach growling. I did the Couch to 5k without much trouble at all. It is really not very different from last week, except just less walking in between running intervals. Next week, I will have an 8 minute interval. The week after that it goes to straight running. I am really kind of excited and not as intimidated as I used to be. I am looking forward to a time when I can go out there and just run. I know I will go onto speed work and other such nonsense. But, right now, it would feel good to run without a program, mindlessly for enjoyment.

Catching up (Friday 11/6 to Monday 11/9)

2009-11-10T14:21:00.000-06:00

Friday
Weight - 185.8
Walked 1.33 miles in 26:00
Strength - lower body BFL for 25:00

Saturday
Weight - 186.1
Swam 50 lengths (25 meter) in 46:00
Biked 12.0 miles in 32:00
Ran 2.0 miles in 29:21 (Couch to 5k - week 4, day 3)

Sunday
Weight - 187.0
Walked 2.0 miles in 39:00
Around the world abs for 15:00

Monday
Weight - 187.8
Walked 2.0 miles in 37:22
Biked 13.88 miles in 40:00
Strength - upper body BFL for 25:00

Just the facts today, except an update on Couch to 5k. This is really a good program to get you from 0 to 6 (mph) in about 9 weeks. It has really worked for me. I was able to complete all the week 4 runs this week, so I am onto week 5. I am really suprised that I am able to run for 5 minutes. It is not pretty, and I huff and puff some, but I am doing it. This week the longest run is still 5:00, just more of them. It gives me confidence that I can do it, though.
Here is my running secret so far. I bought a Couch to 5k app for my iPhone that lets you play your own music with cues for when to start and stop running. I do SO much better when I turn it on and put it away. I don't look at the time or over-analyze. I run when it tells me to run and walk when it tells me to walk. I can go so much farther when I am not looking at the clock. Also, I have great success in the pitch dark. I do a lot better when I cannot see how far I have to go or if the hill is coming up, etc.. So, basically, I need to find a race run in the dark with no timing devices!

One breath at a time

2009-11-06T15:31:00.000-06:00

When you are in the presence of extreme beauty, you live one breath at a time:

on a calm lake on a beautiful day
on top of the mountain looking over the valley
while gazing on a sunset
taking in the sight of a newborn baby

When you are in the depths of despair and tragedy, your life slows down to one breath at a time:

the phone call bearing bad news
the knock in the middle of the night
the night spent in the emergency room
the breaking news in the middle of your favorite show

When I am most at peace, most centered in my purpose, I am living one breath at a time. It is my desire to regulate the time and pace of my life to accomodate this - even if I have to ask for a time-out. Sometimes you need a time-out in order to be in front of your schedule instead of chasing it. Who is making the rules? Who says you cannot call a time-out? There are very few times that a decision needs to be made this minute or there is a dire consequence. So, take your time-out. If you are behind, catch up. If you are overwhelmed, take steps today to reduce your load. If you cannot get ahead, take a long hard look at your duties and make the hard decision to let some of it go. Of course, I am talking to myself.

Thursday (11/5)

2009-11-06T10:37:00.000-06:00

Weight - 186.1
Calories/fat grams - 1096/30.3
Swam 50 lengths (25 m) in 40:00
Ran/walked 2.0 miles in 30:37 (couch to 5k - week 4, day 2)

Good day all round. I know I will have to eat these words one of these days, but this running thing is getting easier and easier. During this week in the program, I am running 16 minutes out of 30. I find myself getting into that exercise fog (you know, when the endorphins flood your brain with "feel good") and I don't even struggle to run. I have even found myself looking forward to the running portions. The one key I have found is to start off slow. My first interval is barely a shuffle, but the pace increases as I go.

Mid-week recap (11/3 and 11/4)

2009-11-05T14:24:00.000-06:00

Tuesday
Weight - 187.2
Calories/fat grams - 1163/24.2
Swam 48 lengths (25 meters) in 40:00
Ran/walked 2.0 miles in 33:03 (couch to 5 k - week 4, day 1, second try)
Ab workout for 15:00

Wednesday
Weight - 185.4
Calories/fat grams - 982/20.2
Walked 2.0 miles in 36:03
Rode 10.86 miles in 30:03
Strength - upper body (BFL) for 15:00

I'm so far behind that I have to recap this early in the week! I wrote a long, rambling fuss-fest yesterday and then Blogger lost it. I guess it didn't need to be said anyway.
The gist of it was I was aggravated with my training partner, M, for making me late in the mornings. Instead of fussing, I decided to tell him what time I wanted to leave this morning .....and guess what? He was ready and we left on time! It is amazing how smooth things are when state up front what you are wanting. A free marriage lesson, I guess.
We had a very busy day yesterday - a study in patience and not holding onto your own schedule or agenda. TB has been wanting to go to spin class with us, so yesterday was the day. We go at 5:40 am, so everyone got up early. KB is too young to stay by herself, so we were going to walk on the track while the boys spun. Let's just say that she was not in a walking mood when I woke her at 5:00 am (imagine that). So, we just stayed home and snuggled on the couch. I missed a training opportunity and gained an hour with KB. On Sunday, the coach for the local travel softball team called and asked KB to try out for the team. Well, the try-out was last night. So, I went home during lunch and took the dog for an unexpected, long walk. We went to try-outs at 7:00 and they lasted until about 8:00. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY did not want to go ride or lift weights at 8:00, but I went. Now, don't go thinking I am super-dedicated. I think if I begin to miss workouts, or pick and choose when I "feel like going" it will come down on me like an avalanche. I think I have to give myself no option. Like all exercise you don't want to do, the hardest part is getting there and getting started. So, my day ended at 10:30, finally. Oh, the try-out .... they were going to call by Friday, but they called right after we got home. SHE MADE THE TEAM!

Monday (11/2) No longer the Sugar Queen

2009-11-03T16:13:00.000-06:00

Weight - 187.2
Spin bike/30:00
Walked 2.0 miles in 33:03
Strength - Lower Body BFL

Everything is going good, except my need to pick up new bad habits. I am not a coffee drinker, but when it gets cold coffee sounds so good. I had been off of all caffeine for a while and now, all of a sudden, I find myself having a cuo of coffee in the morning and the afternoon. As if that weren't bad enough, I like my coffee with about 4 tablespoons of sugar in it! Let me see why that might not be a good idea........... oh, the reasons are too numerous.
So, beginning this afternoon - no more coffee and no more Halloween candy. I have a mild, weird headache this afternoon. I don't know if it is from the coffee or the sugar, but they are both going! Bye bye - it's been fun, but you've got to go!
OK, now I'm better. Training is going good, weight loss is going good, kids are good, house is clean, work is caught up - my life is beautiful.

Weekend recap (10/30 to 11/1)

2009-11-03T16:07:00.000-06:00

Friday
Weight - 188.3
Walked 2.0 miles in 38:00
Strength - Upper body BFL

Saturday
Weight - 188.9
Spin class/90:00!
Ran 2.0 miles in 30:53
Swim 48 lengths in 42:19

Sunday
Weight - 187.8
Walked 2.32 miles in 47:09 (with family to the lake)
Around the world ab workout

Thursday (10/29) I did it! - Twice!

2009-10-30T09:33:00.000-05:00

Weight 188.9

Calories/fat grams 1223/26.8

Ran/walked 2.0 miles in 30:50 (around the neighborhood)
Couch to 5k - week 4, day 2
Around the World Ab workout - day 2 (this routine works!)

I did it! Remember the whining and reconsidering that I was doing on Tuesday - it's gone! I went out running feeling pretty good. As M would say, "I had been juicing". I began taking my appetite supressant again yesterday and I was HYPER! So, I was a little concerned about taking the asthma inhaler, since I did not take "the juice" until lunch time. So, I went without it. I had done some reading on exercise-induced asthma and it said that it is worse during times of low humidity (ha!) and cold air. When I began running, it was 65 degrees with 93% humidity. I was running early because a huge storm front was coming our way.
All of this to say, I didn't even need it. I tried to keep a good, clear attitude towards the running portions and I did it! The program calls for 3 running segments (3:00/5:00/5:00). I was so excited that I could do it.
So, now what do I do? The program calls for you to repeat weeks until you can complete them. What do you do with a partially completed week? I have decided against repeating the week, I am just going to repeat the day. I am going to go until I can complete 3 days of that portion (even if it takes 1.5 or 2 weeks)
So, if my running continues on like last night I should be on to bigger and better distances.
I was supposed to swim, but I just wasn't feeling it. It is "that week" and my family was having a nice, relaxed time together. I didn't want to jump up and say, "I gotta' go swim!" right in the middle of that mood. Also, remember the storm? I am a big chicken and I did not want to be out when it came through.

Wednesday (10/28)

2009-10-29T09:14:00.001-05:00

I weighed 190.0 this morning

Spin class - 50:00
Walked 2.0 miles - 37:46 (around the block with KB and the dog)
Around the World Ab workout that I missed on Tuesday - 15:00 (dining room floor with KB)
Body for Life lower body training - 25:00 (gym)

I went to the doctor today - so much progress. I think I will be finished by 2/28/10, that's my goal. Maybe I need to update my goals today to refocus:
Long-term:

weigh my natural weight (I assume it is between 140 and 150)
Be able to run 1 hour without pain or exhaustion
Be prepared to complete a sprint triathlon
Regularly follow a diet that is low in fat and high in fruits and veggies
Continue to train at least 1:30 per day

Shorter-term (by 2/28/10):

Weigh below 150 pounds
Complete the Couch to 5k program and begin on the Intermediate 5k training
Be ready for the ULM Warhawk Triathlon by 3/5/10
Be able to run 30 minutes in comfort and enjoying the exercise

Doctor Visit Update

2009-10-28T14:47:00.001-05:00

So, I got to go back to the doctor today. I have been doing good on the reduced budget, but I noticed something. We were making room in the budget for the things that were important to us and letting some others go. I felt that I could scrape up the money to go this month, then I would have birthday money next month and December is the finish line for the tight budget!
So, I went back and guess what? I lost 8.5 pounds in 2 months all by myself! I was very, very pleased. So, you may ask yourself, "why would you want to go back if you are losing on your own?" The answer is that I want to be finished. I want to spend the next 4 months working hard and eating lightly in order to be finished by 2/28/10. The really excellent thing about this break has been that I now KNOW that I can keep it off.
She asked me today what my goal was. I told her that I want to hit 150, then just continue to watch what I eat and exercise like I am and see where my weight lands.
She seemed pleased with that plan. I know it is not normal or accepted to brag about yourself, but I am really proud. I have done something that I really thought I could not do.
Oh, I forgot to tell you how much I weighed. I weighed 188.5!

Tuesday (10/27)

2009-10-28T14:35:00.000-05:00

Let's see - what did I do yesterday?
Oh, I got up and went swimming. I swam 48 25 meter lengths in 40:00. I was so glad to get into the exercise fog*.

Then, I went home and weighed. The Wii Fit said that I weighed 188.7. Very nice, indeed. Then I ate some oatmeal - banana bread from the Quaker Bakery Favorites box. Very yummy.

Then, I went to work. It reminds me of the Army ad that my dad used to quote, "We do more before 8:00am than most people do all day". I do more than most people, but I would like to edit it like this:, "I do more before 8:00 am than I did all of last year combined!"

Then, I came home and cooked spaghetti - a real crowd favorite. I did not eat it, because I had to do the Couch to 5k running program and it does not like a stomach full of red sauce. So, after the kids ate we went to the track. I told you already about how I was supposed to run 5 minutes last night. Well, I gave it my best effort. Here's how it broke down:
5:00 minute warm-up (OK, no problem - man, it's cold out here)
3:00 minute run (I can do this, I made it all the way around the track!)
1:30 minute walk (walking is good -so far, so good)
5:00 minute run (Here's the biggy - can you do it? No, I can't. Go as far as you can. 3:00 was all I had, then I walked for 30 seconds and ran the remaining 1:30)
2:30 minute walk (I love walking. Who's idea was this running stuff?)
3:00 minute run (I can do this. The snot is flying and the breath is short but I can do it. Hey, what's that pain in my chest?)
1:30 minute walk (Good old walking. My iPod froze up, so I spent this period plotting against Nike and Apple)
5:00 minute run (Defeated before I begin, but give it my best shot. I made it 2:00 minutes, walked 1:00, then ran the final 2:00. That pain, it's not going away. What are the warnings sign of a heart attack?)
5:00 minute cool-down (I love cool-down!)

So, looking back, I only walked 1:30 that I was supposed to be running. The decision is: do I go back to week 3 (3:00 running) or do I keep on keeping on? I think I will keep on going at week 4 until I have it mastered. However long it takes me to run for 5:00 is fine, but I am going to try everytime. I just don't want to go back, I'd rather push ahead to a goal. Who knows, I may never be able to run for 5:00 unless I continually try it. That is still pretty good, considering that 5:00 is 2 laps around a 1/4 track. I couldn't walk that far without resting 7 months ago. Perspective: it's a wonderful thing.
So, the chest pain. It was very cold last night - OK, it was very cold for these southern lungs (around 57). The longer I ran, the more it hurt - kinf od like a gas bubble. After the run, I began coughing. I was immediately congested. The reason I quit running was because of my lack of breath, not my lack of energy. So, what's the problem? Luckily, I was going to the doctor today - so, I had a chance to ask her. She said it is possible that I have exercise-induced asthma. Huh? Wouldn't it be great if I could cure my breathlessness while swimming and running with a couple of puffs? I'm going to give it a try. p.s. She said it would flair up more in cold weather - makes sense!
Oh, another celebration. I ran those 2.0 miles in 29:21. That is my fastest time EVER. Way under my usual pace. So, I guess I could feel bad that I did not complete the program or rejoice that I am getting much faster. I choose to rejoice.
In all of the hub-bub I forgot to do my ab workout. I was laying in bed around 11:00 and I groaned and said, "I forgot to do my abs". M said, "roll over and go to sleep, because you sure aren't doing them now".
So, I get to do double duty tonight.

I'm back ......

2009-10-27T13:28:00.000-05:00

I fall on and off the blogging wagon. Since I don't have any regular readers, it doesn't matter much. If I am just recording for me or entartaining myself, it just doesn't matter how often I fall off of that wagon. Let's have a catch-up.
Where were we?
I weighed 191.8, now I weigh 187.8
I was counting calories and reporting them on the blog - I will not be doing that anymore. Who cares, anyway?
I was doing the following programs:
Swimplan.com - love it and will probably use it for a LONG time. I am swimming about 48 lengths (25 meters) in about 40:00.
Spin class - Love it and have made it my main exercise joy.
Couch to 5k running plan - Love it and I have actually stayed with the program without repeating any weeks. I feel certain that I will have to eventually, but I go at it with a positive attitude each week and it works out.
30-day shred - Hated it and quit. I made it about 20 days, then I got so sore and hated it so bad that I felt it was silly to continue on with something I dreaded so badly. I went back to regular weight-lifting. I don't need any additional aerobic activity beyond swimming, biking and running. I really think that those programs are made for a complete workout (which I did not need). I was having to adjust the days and times so that my knees and hips would quit hurting before my run days for Couch to 5k. Stupid - I just went back to weightlifting, which doesn't hurt anything except the muscles that it is supposed to.
I think that is everything. Oh, calorie counting. I am still doing that - I just don't feel like reporting it daily. I eat between 1000 and 1200 per day and hold my fat grams to below 30.
One more item - Couch to 5k. That has really been a suprise to me. I felt like I was not progressing very well trying to make myself run more, so I checked this program out. When I read the summary of the intervals that you do, I immediately thought, "I can't run that long". I got so mad at myself, being defeated before I even started. I decided that I was going to go at it with a positive attitude unless I was proven wrong. So, each week I look at the interval and think, "If I can do it, I will be so pleased". I have gone from not being able to run at all to running this interval last week: walk 5 minutes, run 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds, run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes, run 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds, run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes, cooldown for 5 minutes. For me, that is huge! A 3 minute run brings me to my goal - running a lap around a 1/4 mile track!
While I was feeling so good about obtaining that goal, I set a new one: run 2 laps on a 1/4 mile track. When I looked at the interval for this week, guess what? I run 5 minutes (or 2 times around a 1/4 mile track)! I will have to set bigger goals.
Of course, deep inside, I have doubts that I will be able to run 5 minutes. I made myself a deal, though. If I am not going to throw up* or I don't have a real injury, I must keep running. So far, it has been the regular problems - I can't breath, my calves hurt, I'm tired, etc... You cannot believe how mad I would be if I stopped because of these.
*Throw up notice: I DO NOT throw up. I will do almost anything to keep this from happening. I have gotten to the point that I eat lightly on the days I run and hold supper until after the run. I am serious about not throwing up. :-)

I moved

2009-09-29T08:44:00.002-05:00

You can find Little Old Fat Girl at:
http://my.opera.com/littleoldfatgirl/blog/

Shredded toast - Days 3 and 4

2009-09-28T09:24:00.000-05:00

Friday
I really wasn't excited about the 3-day shred on a Friday night, but does it really matter how I feel? I made a good modification that made it much more tolerable - I hit the Mute button. I cannot stand to hear the same running stream of instructions and bossing every night. So, we hit Mute and turned up the iTunes. It was great! I am getting strnger every time, but still pretty sore in areas.

Sunday
It was good, really good. I am getting more comfortable with these exercises. M and I are both a little scared about moving up to Workout 2. The first one is already pretty hard. I skipped Saturday, because the triathlon is already exhausting enough. It felt good to go back to the shred with one day of rest. My soreness is getting better and better and I can see definition in my calves. I am thinking about doing the jumping jacks and jump roping on a mini trampoline. The jumping KILLS my knees.

Weekend recap

2009-09-28T09:17:00.000-05:00

Weight
Friday 192.9
Saturday 191.8
Sunday 191.8

Calories/fat grams
Friday 1106/25.3
Saturday 1041/32.0
Sunday 1175/18.3

Training
Friday
Walked 4.0/77:13
30day shred - day 3, workout 1

Saturday
Swam 32 lengths/35:00
Biked 10.76/30:05
Ran 3.0/50:01

Sunday
Walked 2.0/38:30
30-day shred - day 4, workout 1

Looking at it from this perspective, my eating habits have not been good. I am still losing weight, so I must be running it off!
Let's see - where are we at? Of, new plans. I have been a plan following fool lately. I probably will not remain this way, but following the plans makes it easier to stay focused. So, I guess I need to give a plan recap.
Running: Couch to 5k - this has been OK this week. I was already running some, so it was not a big change. I usually run farther and longer than this plan calls for. During the week, I was following the plan for 20 minutes and walking the remainder. On Saturday, that just not seem like enough, so I did the plan for 20 minutes then walked/ran my usual pattern. I feel like I will be able to run a 5k when this plan is over. I move up this week to running 90 seconds and walking 90 seconds. I'd like to finish the plan without repeating any weeks, but that is probably not wise.
Swimming: Thanks to my friend, Swingset, I found a swimming plan. She suggested swimplan.com and it has been great. I don't get bored in the pool anymore and I am having some great workouts.
Bike: I don't really have a plan, but I have begun taking a Spin class. It is a lot of fun and probably more closer simulates real riding.
Strength: 30-day shred - it is kicking my butt, but in a good way. I'll go into more detail in that section.
Everything is going well and I feel very strong. I get to go with KB to a children's church camp this weekend. My boss gave me the day off on Friday, so I will be doing the Fat Girl Triathlon that morning instead of Saturday. I'm going to let go of any plan on Saturday and will be back to normal on Sunday. We are going to get to ride horses, do a ropes course and on and on. So many of these things I could not do before, so I cannot wait!

Shredded Toast - Day Two

2009-09-25T08:36:00.000-05:00

I was smarter and more dumb this time - all at the same time. I did not eat before I did the DVD. But, I still felt sick afterwards. I guess that is a testament to how hard you have to push to make it through the session. I was also dumb to think that I was not sore, because I forgot about the two day rule: you are most sore on the second day. But, if I remember correctly, it does get better as you go.
Performance:
No excuses. I did not keep the intensity that I should have. I finished it, but that's as far as I got. I was very sore and every exercise HURT.
Satisfaction with 30-day shred program:
I am very satisifed and I am also sure that my former strength training was not getting the job done. I think I was falling into the routine I wanted to do, not the one I needed to do.
Status at completion:
I was tired. I had not been too sore during the day, but waking those muscles up made me realize just how fatigued they were.
Status the next day.
I am tired. That is not uncommon for a Friday, but keeping up with the shred is adding to it.

Thursday (9/24)

2009-09-25T08:27:00.000-05:00

Weight 192.7

Calories 1070
Fat grams 23.7

Walked/ran 1.69 miles in 30:06 (Couch to 5k plan on treadmill at gym)
Swam 30 laps in about 37:00 (swimplan at gym lap pool)
30-day shred dvd (workout one, day two)

Kind of busy, kind of tired, kind of sleepy - will try to write more of an entry later when I am caught up, rested and awake.

Shredded Toast - Day One

2009-09-24T10:48:00.000-05:00

Performance:
I completed it without stopping more than 5 seconds to catch my breath. That is a victory in itself. My stamina with each exercise gave out about 10 reps before it was over, but I am confident that this will improve as I go.
Satisfaction with the program:
I enjoyed the DVD and the workout is definitely useful. I found the pace of it kind of difficult, but I am sure that is what makes it work. Jillian drives me crazy - she challenges you to keep going and push through, while she stops to show you how the girl in green holds her back. I want to yell, "sure you can do it if you stop every 10 seconds!"
Status at completion:
I was tired, almost exhausted. My stomach was hurting because I ate right before beginning it. I WILL NOT make that mistake again.
Status the next morning:
It's funny, but the only sore thing on me is my left shoulder. That makes me happy for two reasons:

I always knew my left shoulder was weak because it hurts when I swim and feels kind of "catchy" sometimes. I really think this will build it up and it will feel better on a regular basis.
I finished 20 minutes of non-stop cardio, strength and ab exercises with no break and the only sore thing is my shoulder!

Plan for the next day:
I plan to do the DVD tonight as soon as walk in the door - without eating first. I want to be able to do the workout with intensity and feel good about the effort.

Stay tuned - more tomorrow.

Wednesday (9/23)

2009-09-24T10:37:00.000-05:00

Weight 193.3 (woo hoo!)

Calories 963
Fat grams 24.6

Spin class (gym spin bike)
Strength training (30-day shred)
Walked 1.45 miles in 28:56 (around the block with M)

Oh, how quickly we learn lessons through painful circumstances. For the longest time, M could not understand how I could get up from the dinner table and head out the door for a walk, run, bike or swim. It just didn't bother me. First, I am not eating that much. Second, all of theses activities don't really shake up the contents of my stomach. Until .....
I have a new obesession - peanut butter and honey sandwiches. You take the peanut butter and mix the honey into it. Put that on whole wheat white bread and you have heaven. Well, sometimes it will give me indigestion - but not always. I was starving and I was making lasagna for everyone else. So, I believed the good old PB & H sandwich would fill me up and keep me from tasting and snacking. I had a few spoonfuls of sauce and meat. When it was ready, I just could not resist. I had 1/4 of a piece (about 3 bites). It was really good and I was pleased that I could stop there.
So, then I decided to do my 30-day shred dvd before going walking and I needed to get a move on if I wanted to finish all of this by 9:00. I put the DVD in and here we go. Wow, there's a lot of jumping jacks - and running in place real high - and crunches - and lunges. Next thing you know, I have PB & H mixed with spaghetti sauce fighting its way back up. Push on through - just keep on going.
I finished the workout - details in my Shredded Toast section - and popped a Maalox. Well M was ready to walk and I was ready enough, so we set out. I was doing pretty good for the first mile, but then that sensation began - you know the one.
"I'm gonna' throw up"
"No, I think I'll be OK"
"Maybe if I slow down a little"
"Oh man, I hate to throw up"
"I think I would feel better if I just gave in"
"Oh man, my stomach hurts"
"Where is the next gutter?"
"If I just hurry and get home"
"No, no - I definitely need to slow down!"
I made it back home, felt miserable for a while - then felt a little better as the night went on - then back to normal by 10:00
Important lesson learned - Jillian is not your friend with a stomach full of food. From now on, I will be having a snack at 5:00, doing ALL of my training, then eating dinner - even if it is 9:00. This should help a lot with my night snacking also.

Shredded Toast - getting ready

2009-09-23T13:13:00.000-05:00

The best thing about not having a plan is not having to follow a plan. If something goes stale, just do something different. In my quest to try every plan imaginable, I am starting a 30 day program "guaranteed" to make you a lean, mean fat burning machine.
OK, all joking aside, I am going to commit to the 30-day Shred from today to 10/22/09. I have heard good things about this program and it will be a nice diversion in my strength training. When I am really exhausted and can go no further, I tell M that I am fried toast. It's a mixture of the saying, "I am toast" and saying, "My legs (arms, butt, feet) are fried. When I was trying to come up with a catchy term for this 30 day period, I thought of shredded wheat. Then, I thought, "no, shredded toast!"
So, stay tuned for updates on how my shredding is going.

Tuesday (9/22)

2009-09-23T10:50:00.000-05:00

Weight 194.4

Calories 997
Fat grams 21.6

Walked/ran 1.18 miles in 20:08 (following Couch to 5k plan on treadmill at gym)
Upper body strength training (gym)
Swam 30 laps in 36:41 (lap pool at gym - using swimplan)

I am finding through my journalling that I have a lot of days that don't go as planned. You know what I think about that?
SO WHAT!?

I woke up early, thinking that I would go try out a Body Combat class - I liked Spin so much I thought I might like that one, too. When I got there (at 5:40!), the class was full. So, I decided to roll with the flow (like I had a choice?) I was supposed to start the Couch to 5k plan, so I thought a treadmill might be a good place to start that. So, I made it 1.18 miles in 20 minutes and I felt GOOD! I really think I will be a runner one day. So, I was through with that and it was only 6:00. I did not want to waste the time since I was up already. I tried to go from memory to complete my strength training. I completely forgot to do shoulders and I only did half of the chest exercises. But, I did use the time and didn't just go back to bed.
It has rained here constantly since last Friday - no, not the Friday 5 days ago, the one 12 days ago. KB had a thingy and softball practice at the same time yesterday evening. I just knew it would rain out the softball practice and I could swim a little earlier. But, it quit raining. It sprinkled and misted and was SO humid and mosquity (yes, that's a word in Bayou Country), but it did not rain. So, I got to swim around 8:30. It was good in that I did my plan and I swam hard, but it was bad in that I was tired and cranky. It did not help that M sat on the side of the pool for the last 10 laps, asking "how many more?" about 13 times. He was tired, too.
I think, like most moms, the days that get to me the worst are the ones where you don't sit down all day. Between exercise, work, supper, thingy, softball practice and swimming I left home at 5:20 am and got home at 9:30 pm. Those days kick my booty.
Please don't think I am complaining - I love my gym membership, my job, my daughter, eating :-), and training. I would not give up any of these things. It's just that sometimes they form into the perfect storm.
When these days hit, I have one over-riding goal - just do it. I am always happy on those days to keep everything on the calendar and push on through. It may not look beautiful, but it is done.
It is funny how pushing through does pay off. M wanted to go back to Spin this morning. Of course, based on the list above I was not jumping up and down. But, I went and I rode like a star. I never stopped and I never let off for 50 minutes. I think you're body eats up those "just do it" days and comes out stronger.
On the agenda for today (no outside activities!)

Bike (check - took Spin class this morning)
Strength training - lower body
Walk/run 2 miles

Excuses

2009-09-22T16:59:00.000-05:00

Excuses - I don't like them!
*Disclaimer: If you are easily offended, please go on over to the Pioneer Woman (she is very entertaining). If you would like to analyze the excuses people give for not exercising, than please read on. Either way, please do not be offended.

Let's pretend for just a minute that life is very simple, black and white with no grey. You see a problem, you conceive a solution, then you put that solution into action. I know this is not the way the world works, but it is my blog and I can pretend.
Let's further pretend that you want to . What I mean is that whatever it is that you say you want to do (get in shape, lose a few pounds, run that 5k, finish that triathlon) that you really do want to do that thing. You are not giving it lip service or taking on a goal that a friend has taken on or you admire.
Side note: I really think those two sum up why some people talk about losing weight and getting fit and others do it. You hear people say, "I don't know, I just decided that was the turning point". I really think they chose to put belief in those first two points. OK, I think that takes care of the beginning problems. Since those two are cleared up, then I will not mention them again.
Excuse: It hurts when I do exercise like that.
Response: Yes, it does - but it won't always. Let's look at the real issues and solutions:

If your hurt is from a real injury, go to the doctor and do what they say. Take the shortest road to healing and get back on track.
If your hurt is from inactivity or trying to attain a new level of fitness, hang in there. I have convinced myself several times that there was something really wrong with me (hip, knee, back, shoulder) and it resolved itself with more exercise.
If you hurt is from a muscle, go on Google and type in "muscular anatomy of (whatever the body part is)". Identify the muscle that is hurting and then type in "exercises (or stretches) for (whatever muscle it is). You will be amazed by two things - how many good exercises or stretches there are for your type of problem, and how much better it makes that part feel. Whatever you do, don't buy whatever it is they are selling for that body part. Most of these things resolve with stretching and further exercise.

Excuse: The weather was too (hot, cold, wet, dry, humid, etc..)
Solution: Suck it up
The weather is an ever-changing thing. Also, your mother was wrong - you can and should run in the rain. I have run in the rain and find that I really like it. Now, I am not talking about being foolish. I do not run in the thunderstorms, but a nice rain is just perfect. It will cool you off, the sun will not be in your eyes and you will have something new dripping off of your nose. I don't know much about cold weather, but surely they make some type of thinsulate or goretex that will allow that type of exercise. Heat is a problem here, but it does not make exercise impossible. My only concession to the heat is a hat and PLENTY of water. I find that my body acclimates to the weather. I also know a little about humidity (my race was in 90% humidity the other day). You are not running in your best clothes, so let the sweat fly. It does make the breathing more difficult (you have to pull the exygen from that soup you are breathing), but it can be done. Dry? I have no idea. I am sure that you can adapt.

Excuse: I don't have the newest (shoes, equipment, iPod, shorts, etc..)
Solution: This one is easy. You don't need them.

Necessities: shorts, shirt, shoes (not fancy)
Nice things to have: stopwatch, bandana, iPod
Extremely nice to have: Nike+ or some other tracking system, "stay dry" fabric, cool shoes

You can see that it takes very little to become fit. You don't need the latest and greatest and I find that just clutters up your mental space and backpack.

I am sure this is the first of many posts about excuses - stay tuned.

Monday (9/21)

2009-09-22T13:37:00.000-05:00

Weight 195.1

Calories 917
Fat grams 11.4

Walked/ran 2.03 miles in 35:16 (around neighborhood with M)
Biked 10.02 miles in 30:06 (stationary in gym)
Upper body workout (BFL in gym)

So, it turns out buying a schedule III drug over the internet is illegal - who knew? I am not a lawbreaker, so I scrapped that idea. I went to Sam's and bought a giant, economy-size bottle of Alli that will last me through December. Then, I went by GNC and bought an appetite control pill. So far, it seems to be working. I have not been hungry and I did lose weight this morning. I guess time will tell.
I ate well and I worked out hard - and that's the story. I really am going to get to the "excuses" post one day. They are my pet peeves.

Race Report 9/19/09 Race for the Cure

2009-09-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

Weather conditions: 75 degrees / 90% humidity / overcast
Little Old Fat Girl conditions: Awake, no injuries, feeling good

Yahoo! My first official race report!
This one requires a lot of weather background. It has rained here for 9 days straight - saying that the day of the race was wet would be an understatement. 90% humidity at 8:00 in the morning! Plus, the whole park that it began in was a big mud puddle. The humidity was not that high because it was raining, it was just muggy - a lot like running in pea soup.
So, we got to the area at 7:00 am. The kids were a little sleepy, but I was ready. While I was looking for my team leader, M and the kids ran into my "training partner". So, she decided to run with me. After a little trip to the port-a-potty, we were ready to go. I would have preferred to run alone and set my own tempo, but it worked out really well to keep the nerves down. I had someone to talk to the whole way and that kept my mind off of obesessing over little twinges and fears. Although I felt good, I quickly realized my fantasy of running the whole way was not to be.
Normally, I run a pattern of about 4:00 minutes of walking and 1:00 minute of running. The "training partner" (I'll call her F from now on) could have run alot farther without stopping, but she wanted to run with me. So, we fell into a 1:00/1:00 pattern. While this may seem slow, I knew that it would shave a lot of time off my normal pace. It also allowed me to fall into a good rhythm and not feel like I was huffing the whole way. It was really very enjoyable. I never felt that I just could not make it any further and I was glad to get the first race out of the way. Also, the cheers and "I'm proud of you" from M and the kids was nice too.
So, the official statistics were - I finished my first 5k in a time of 44:54. That was a pace of 14:29. My normal finish on Saturday is around 53:00, which would be a pace of 17:40. I feel very good about the results.
At first I felt kind of down, feeling like I should have been able to run the whole way and wishing that I had about a 10:00 minute pace. But, I quickly reminded myself that just 6 months ago I could not walk .25 of a mile without stopping to rest. Also, I would not have even entered a 5k. So, I got over that and basked in the thrill of completing a good race.
Goals for the next Race for the Cure:

Be able to run the whole race
Complete the race in under 30:00

Goals for the next race entered:

Begin following the Couch to 5k training plan to build up my stamina
Go after my training harder, pushing myself beyond my comfort zone
Set a pace goal and go after it - my goal for right now is 14:00 per mile
Try to enjoy it and use it as a way to mark progress

Where have you been, Little Old Fat Girl

2009-09-21T08:47:00.000-05:00

Well, I have had technical difficulties. On Thursday night, my computer was struck by lightning through the power cord. So, while I could have updated, I didn't have any facts to update. All of my anal retentive spreadsheets and calorie counting programs are on my computer. It will not be fixed until this afternoon, so I thought I would give an untechnical update. It may be a nice change for you more creative types.
Thursday
I ate well and I swam, walked and lifted weights concentrating on my lower body.
Friday
I ate well and I went to the spin class with M - he really liked it and I'm sure we will be back.
Saturday
I ate WAY too much, but I am blaming the race and a family gathering. I also swam and biked to complete my weekly triathlon. (More on the race in my first race report!)
Sunday
I ate pretty well and I went walking with M in the evening.

So, I guess that catches all of that stuff up. Oh, I weighed 195.1 pounds this morning. I am contemplating going back on the medicine. My weight is fluctuating between 194 and 195 without going down. It is bothering me for two reasons:

I cannot stand to watch the scale go back up again
I want to push through to the completion of the plan - this break is killing me.

I found a good buy on the Alli at Sam's Club and I have found a way to order the appetite suppressant cheaply - without the doctor's visit. So, I think I will do that and get on with it. On a happy note, I believe that when I get down to around 140 I will be able to stay there - I have stuck like glue to 194.

Wednesday (9/16)

2009-09-17T10:18:00.000-05:00

Weight 194.9

Calories 1238
Fat grams 23.0

Spin class for 50:00 (at the gym)
Upper body strength training for 20:00 (BFL in gym)
Walked/ran 2.0 miles in 39:07 (around neighborhood with M)

No news - just regular training. I am still working on keeping those calories down. I have broken up the day and that helped until about supper - then I just went crazy. I am adding a time schedule now to try to keep me from being so hungry in the evening. I am going to try to eat at 8:00, 12:00, 2:00, 4:00, 6:00 and 8:00. I am also going to try to eat more substantial snacks - like turkey in a tortilla and fruit.
We'll see....
Plan for today and this weekend:

Today - strength training during lunch, walking during softball practice and swimming when the kids go to bed.
Tomorrow - spin class again, bringing M this time. Strength training during lunch and walking in the evening.
Saturday - Race for the Cure in the morning (3.1 miles), swimming and biking fit into a day filled with a cross country meet and 2 softball games. I may be walking at midnight!
Sunday - rest day. Walk sometime during the day.

I am really excited about the Race for the Cure. It was not something I had planned as a training or race event, just helping out a friend with cancer. Now that I am registered and it is coming near, I am excited to see how I do. This is the exact length of the run portion of the sprint triathlon I am shooting for in March. Biking and swimming are not a problem for me, so it will be good to see what my race day times will look like. I usually walk 4 minutes and run 1 during my normal training. On Saturday, I plan to run as far as possible without stopping and then walk a short distance (just enough to catch my breath) and run again. Wouldn't it be great if I could run the whole thing? Not very likely, but I can dream.

Tuesday (9/15)

2009-09-16T08:13:00.000-05:00

Weight 194.4

Calories 938
Fat grams 14.1

Lower body strength training (BFL in gym)
Walked 2.75 miles in 53:13 (with family on local rural roads)
Swam 30 laps in 35:51 (lap pool at gym)

Watch out Lance - here I come!
There is a beauty to having no plan. Of course, I have an internal plan - but I am talking about following someone else's plan. I have tried to follow these plans; Nike + coaching, the Couch to 5k running program and a training plan for triathletes. I find one thing seriously lacking - me. How does that paper know how I feel today? Is it tune with my cycle and complex emotional needs? No.
After making myself a little crazy, I decided that my plan was to have no plan. I have a calendar that looks like this for the week:
Monday - bike, walk, upper body
Tuesday - swim, walk, lower body
Wednesday - bike, walk, upper body
Thursday - swim, walk, lower body
Friday - walk, upper body
Saturday - swim, bike, walk
Sunday - walk
I guess I have a plan, but there is alot of room for improvisation and adaption. I had gone several days trying to run everyday. Then, I recruited my family to go walking last night - so we walked and dodged scooters and bikes. This morning, I took that spin class that I have been thinking about for a couple of months. I LOVED IT! It was fun, challenging and the people seem like a group that is comfortable with each other. I am finding that I am changing things up just right before they get stale. I'm not tired of the stationary bike and my bike is still hanging in the garage, but I really like the change of pace. You won't see a bike total for me tomorrow. I'm not sure how far I rode, but I did ride HARD for 50:00 minutes - that's gotta' be good.

Monday (9/14)

2009-09-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

Weight 194.7
Calories 1132
Fat grams 27.7
Upper body strength training - 30:00 (BFL in gym)
Biked 14.27 miles in 40:05 (Stationary at the gym)
Walked/ran 2.0 miles in 37:00 (treadmill at the gym)

You've heard it so much that you probably can repeat it back to me - I need to do something about my snacking. I won't say that I can't control my appetite without the medication, but it is a lot easier to snack the day away. I have broken down my calories as follows:
Breakfast 50/2
Lunch 350/5
Snack 100/4
Supper 350/5
Snack 150/4
Total 1000/20
I am going to try to stick to these, so I can stay on track. I find myself snacking around 3:00-5:00 in the afternoon. Then, I am truly hungry after my evening training and don't have any calories left.
I just had a thought. I make really bad decisions when I am hungry, so I may try not making any decisions. I could eat a granola bar at 5:00, then hold my dinner until after training (when I am much less snacky). I am weird, but I do much better at just saying no totally, than trying to limit myself.
It was a good day - I feel so strong during training. I am not nearly as sluggish as I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I fall into bed every night .... but that feels so good. Almost every night, I hit the bed, look at M and say, "I wore myself out today!" I am finding that when I train until 9:00 or after I have a hard time going to sleep. That happened last night - after walking, dishes and laundry I got to bed around 10:30. Then, I just layed there. I was tired, but not sleepy. Finally around 11:30 I got drowsy. Then, it begin raining - then hailing - then flooding. So, I just knew it would be hard to get up this morning. Wrong! Someone called our house at 5:45 this morning! If the phone rings at our house at that time of the morning, someone better be dead. It was a wrong number, of course. It was funny because I punched M and said, "the phone is ringing!" He picked up the phone (it's on his side) and just looked at it - he didn't even answer it. Don't worry, M, I can't work anything at 5:45 in the morning either.
So, I'll be working off about 5 hours of sleep today.
Plan for the day:

Stay under 1000/20!
Lower body strength training during lunch
Walk/run 2 miles this evening (hopefully outside)
Swim according to plan around 8:00

Phantom training partner

2009-09-14T09:12:00.000-05:00

Well, remember my would-be training partner? On Friday I was not looking forward to her training with me because of a lot of past baggage and the chance of her stealing my thunder. I will warn you ahead of time - there is a lot of pettiness in this post. Well, on Friday I had lunch with a used-to-be friend from that church. She said, "I heard that you and F are training for a triathlon". That is funny in two ways. First, I had already told this person that I was training about a month ago, but I don't guess it registered until someone in her circle became involved. Second, F has not ever done anything toward training with me, except giving it lip service. So, I just grinned and said, "she is supposed to come out and train with me tomorrow".
One thing I have learned with this group is that there is reality and then there is their perception - and good luck changing their perception! So, I have taken the stance that I know what the reality is and I can't change their perception.
Well, I gave F a call on Friday evening after I had checked on the guest policy of the gym. Here is the conversation:
LOFG: "Hey, I checked on the guest policy. You can come with me, but it will be $10.00"
F: "Oh, well.......... What time are planning to get there?"
LOFG: "Between 6:00 and 7:00"
F: "Ummmmmm (insert cricket noises) - wow, that's early"
LOFG: "Well, it takes 2 hours and I need to do some things in the afternoon"
F: "Ummmm, well, I may not be able to do what you are doing"
LOFG: "I know, but you could come for as much as you want and go home when you get ready"
F: "Well, I may try to meet you up there - don't wait on me, I'll text you when I get there"
LOFG: "OK, just come if you feel like it" - mentally slapping myself for trying to convince someone to come with me, when I really just want to be left alone.
LOFG's inner mental dialogue: "Well, please quit telling people that we are training together when you have never been to the gym!"
OK, now you get to finish the story - did she come?
Of course not - I got a text at 8:00ish saying, "I am not coming"

I know, that is so petty. But, it is what it is. I have found a great following of family and friends that want to know my "secret". Just tell me what you are eating, just tell me what to do at the gym, just tell me how you did it. But, when I tell them, they just look at me with glazed eyes. You can tell by the equation in their eyes, that all of that work and counting calories is greater than their desire to be fit.

Weekend recap (9/11 to 9/13)

2009-09-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Friday
Weight 194.9
Calories 1159
Fat grams 14.1
Swam 16 laps in 15:00 (gym lap pool)
Walked/ran 2.0 miles in 37:04 (around the neighborhoods with M)

Saturday
Weight 194.0
Calories 1001
Fat grams 24.3
Swam 24 laps in 30:00 (gym lap pool following swim plan)
Biked 10.48 miles in 30:00 (stationary bike at gym)
Walked/ran 3.0 miles in 50:51 (outdoor track at gym)

Sunday
Weight 194.7
Calories 1205
Fat grams 20.5
Walked/ran 2.0 miles in 35:20 (outdoor track at gym)

The summary of this weekend was work hard, play hard. We had plans with some old friends that moved away on Saturday night. She is a very good cook, but she likes to accentuate with butter and sour cream. On Sunday, we went to the grandparents where I have little control over the menu. I did really well on Saturday and not so well on Sunday. But, overall the extra calories and fat did not hurt me much. My goal for this week is to hold fast to the calorie/fat restrictions.
We also played hard. I felt a great intensity for all the training that we did this weekend. I even commented to M that I used to feel wiped out after the fat girl triathlon on Saturday. I did not feel tired one time during this week's. I also went about my daily tasks right after we finished without any trouble. I used to feel like I could not go one more step until the evening.
The first of the week is always busy for me at work, so I will be back later. The theory of living, running, pedalling, swimming, loving, crying, laughing and mourning - all one breath at a time - has been on my mind this weekend. More on that later.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming...

2009-09-11T15:47:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen the movie, "Finding Nemo"? Well, there is a fish that has an attention span problem. She sings the verse in the title over and over to keep herself on track. This same sentence can sum up my state of mind under stress.
Hello, my name is Little Old Fat Girl, and I am an avoider. When the going gets tough, I check out. I have noticed this strongly in myself at 2 different periods of my life. The first period was during a previous employment. I was unhappy, completely and utterly miserable. The work was stressful and all-consuming. But, that played nicely into my desire to avoid any issues. So, I submerged myself in the culture. Here is the sticky part - it was a church. I don't care to hear any religious volleying in the comments, so just save your opinion. It was one of those cool, slick non-denominational churches that are so popular now. Well, most of the difficulties did not have anything to do with it being a church. The difficulties centered around "The Boss" - a very messed up person with a large ego. So, the worse things got the more I dove in. If I stayed busy enough, went to meetings late enough and kept swimming then I could survive - until I couldn't. One day in the early part of 2007, I could not take it anymore. It actually came to me like that - "I cannot be here when 2007 is over - I just can't". So, I dusted off the resume and found a new and much better job.
Right after I started this job, it hit me. What was I going to do to keep myself occupied? Who will I gossip with? How will I feel important? I got panicy! I felt that I had just pulled myself away from my identity. I still did not address the problem of avoidance.
Around the first of 2009, I decided that I had had enough of being fat and so out of shape. So, I began this program. Guess what happened? I have become obsessed and fixated on dieting and exercising. I will deal with the problem of avoidance now. I love the weight loss and being fit, but I will not use it as a screen to cover other problems. So, the main area of my life that I feel like I am avoiding is my spirituality. I was sick of "church" when I changed jobs and I have found every excuse to avoid the situation altogether. I am working on this - with an emphasis on finding a TRUE spirituality not rooted in the clique-ishness of the current time.
So, you ask yourself, "What brought this up?" Well, a friend from the past when I was working at the church has contacted me and wants to train with me on Saturday. I have all kinds of emotions about this. I won't be sucked back into that environment, but I don't want to seem "weird". It feels like a clashing of my two lives - before and after. I won't tell them no, so I guess we will see how it turns out.

Thursday (9/10)

2009-09-11T15:35:00.000-05:00

Weight 195.6

Calories 801
Fat grams 22.4

Walked 1.5 miles in 30:00 (around the softball fields)
Upper body training (BFL in gym)

Everything's going good. I was supposed to swim last night, but after softball practice there was just too much kid drama going on. I started to leave several times, but did not feel settled and knew that the kids would be asleep when I got back. So, I just stayed. I only have walking on the plan today, so adding swimming will be no big deal. So, the plans for this weekend:

Friday night - walk 2 miles in less than 40 minutes (run if I feel like it) and swim according to training program (about 45 minutes)
Saturday morning - Fat Girl Triathlon - my goals are to swim 30 laps in less than 30 minutes, bike 10 miles in less than 30 minutes, and run/walk 3 miles in less than 60 minutes. So, overall, I want to be finished in 2 hours.
Saturday afternoon - we have dinner plans with old friends who have moved away. This will be a big test of my willpower. I have mapped it out and figured how to stay within my limits. We'll see...
Sunday morning - Church
Sunday afternoon - grocery shopping and cooking for youth group.
Sunday evening - walking and doing a better job of getting ready for Monday. Even though we had an extra day this past weekend, the week snuck up on me. I want to be more prepared.

So, there you have it. Later, a little psychology.

Wednesday (9/9)

2009-09-10T09:36:00.000-05:00

Weight 195.8

Calories 892
Fat grams 17.1

Biked 10.3 miles in 30:00 (stationary bike in gym)
Walked/ran 2.0 miles in 36:18 (treadmill in gym)
Lower body workout (BFL in gym)

I pumped the iron during lunch (I've done that everyday this week). I have not been able to get up in the mornings and I think that will become more common as it gets colder and darker during winter. There are few things I like better than a warm bed in the morning. If I don't have anything to do during lunch, that is a much better time for me. I was getting all ready to walk outside when I noticed that it was getting dark at 7:00. One quick look told me that I would be hitting the treadmill.
So, I waited until 8:00 - when the kids are getting ready for bed. I rode the bike and then hit the treadmill. I felt good - really strong. I am making progress all the time. I can do the same thing I was attempting last month and do it with ease.
I am busy at work today, but I would like to look at excuses and "do I feel like it" in the near future. I have been thinking about these a lot lately.

Tuesday (9/8)

2009-09-09T08:44:00.000-05:00

Weight 195.3

Calories 1142
Fat grams 11.5

Walked/ran 2.01 miles in 35:13 (around the neighborhood by myself)
Swam using swimplan.com for 35:00 (24 laps in gym lap pool)

Goals and "goals"
I am a liar - to myself and to the others. I usually have another reality going on in my head. M will ask me what is on the grocery list and then ask me what I am really going to buy at Wal-Mart. I always have that secret list of things I am thinking about, if they are the right price or right color or whatever. They don't need to be on the list, because I won't forget them.
I guess this is a confession. I feel good and I am not very jazzed up about losing weight anymore. I can act intense and go through the motions, but the scale has no power against me. I feel good - I mean, I really feel good. I can almost wear regular clothes and I can touch my toes. I ran yesterday, not because it was my running day, but because I wanted to. You could not have kept me from running.
So, I have a goal of weighing 150 pounds sometime before 2/10/10. But, really I have a "goal" of the scale going down and feeling really good everyday. I feel a little stronger everyday and I am really enjoying the new me.
That being said, I am not stupid. I have worked very hard to get here. I would go back to the doctor in a heartbeat if that scale went back up. I am still counting calories and fat grams and I WILL keep them under 1000 and 20 respectively. You can see that I have not done well at that the past few days, but it felt good to let loose a little. I am now back on track, with modifications to my snacking. That is not new, huh. We bought Honey Nut Cheerios and I have found a weakness. Some nice family member put them in a plastic container with an easy-to-open lid and placed them right next to the stove. So convenient! I ate way more of them than I should the last two days, but I have stopped. Back to lunch, supper and whole foods for snacks.

Weekend recap (9/4 to 9/7)

2009-09-08T15:02:00.000-05:00

Friday
Weight 194.9

Walked 2.0 miles in 41:05

Saturday
Weight 195.3

Walked/ran 3.0 miles in 56:10
Swam 16 laps in 20:00
Biked 7.0 miles in 30:00

Sunday
Weight 194.4

Calories 1537
Fat grams 26.7

Walked 2.68 miles in 59:45

Monday
Weight 195.6

Calories 920
Fat grams 23.7

Walked 3.25 miles in 65:50
Biked 6.135 miles in 39:13

As you can see, I did not keep up very well with my food log this weekend and it was kind of nice. We had a family gathering on Sunday and I kind of went crazy yesterday. Judging by my weight, it did not hurt me too badly - I think because I remained very active. I feel like I allowed myself a vacation from tracking everything. But, don't worry, I got back to it today. I could not remember what in the world I ate on Friday afternoon and Saturday. So, I guess that will just be lost to the world. Oh well, I really don't care too much.
On Saturday, I biked almost to my office and back. I was VERY excited about that. Now I know I can do it. When cross country is over, I will be riding some (according to the weather). It will be over at the end of October, so the weather may be a big factor. I live in the Deep South, where our winter contains more rain than cold weather. It is just very, very rewarding to know that I can do it.
Yesterday, the gym was closed so I had to ride my bike again. I found a great route near my house that provides 3.25 miles per lap - I rode it twice. It is hilly and nice. So, I have unintentionally begun riding my own bike and it has been good. On Saturday, I had the most leisurely fat girl triathlon yet. I took my daughter to Kid's Swim at the gym and did my laps with her. Then, the family walked at the track late in the evening. During the afternoon, I had ridden to my office. So, I got it all in - just not in the normal way or intensity.
My time was put off by a cross country meet. T was very proud of himself. He placed 48th out of 60, but he was proud that he did not get run over at the start and that he ran the whole 1.5 miles. I was also very proud of him. He is very timid, especially in something that is new to him. So, I expect great things during the next meet.
I am back on track today. Logging my food a lot more carefully. I went to the gym during lunch and have plans for a swim and a walk/run tonight. I took my last appetite suppressant on Sunday. I have enough sugar blocker and Alli through tomorrow, so I will be completely on my own by Thursday. This no longer scares me, it kind of excites me.

Thursday (9/3)

2009-09-04T16:24:00.000-05:00

Weight 196.4

Calories 957
Fat grams 20.5

Walked 1.95 miles in 45:53 (around the neighborhood)
Swam 32 laps in 30:00 (in gym lap pool)
Lower body and ab training (BFL in gym)

A really good day, with a lot of training. I find that I wear down as the week goes along, making it harder to get up early in the mornings. So, I didn't fight it. I just woke up at 7:00 and did all of it at night. I really can't decide which I like better, so I just let it ebb and flow. There are pros and cons to splitting up the training (morning and evening) and also for doing it all at one time. So, I have decided it just doesn't matter as long as it gets done.
Plans for the weekend:

Grocery shopping - should be interesting since I gave myself a budget of $150 for all 4 of us, including us taking our lunches everyday.
T has his first cross country meet. He is an extremely athletic young man, but he shies away from competitive sports. He does not like the harsh, win-at-any-cost attitude that has invaded youth sports. So, we are thrilled that he is doing so well at cross country. Plus, it is much easier to get along in middle school when you belong to a group.
Fat girl triathlon on Saturday - cannot decide whether to try to fit it in before the meet or just relax and do it in the afternoon. I prefer the morning (cooler), but I don't want to shorten or rush it.
Downtime - just begin together and having fun!
We have an extra day on Monday, so that will make the weekend extra-relaxing.

Doctor appointment update 9/3/09

2009-09-03T12:31:00.000-05:00

I went to the doctor today and I weighed 196.5. That is really good, considering that I went to her office the first time on March 25th at 266.0. So, that is a grand total of 69.5 pounds over a period of 162 days or 23 weeks and 1 day or 5 months, 1 week and 2 days!
So, this will be my last visit with her until December 16th. I have searched myself today to determine what had me so despondent about stopping the medical phase. I have determined that it is not my reliance on the medication for more weight loss (although I reserve the right to change my mind on that). I really believe that I will continue to lose.
I feel like I am losing my support system - like if the doctor is following me than everything will be OK. I liked to go see her - it was always joyous. I felt like I was marking progress each month. So, I have decided to continue with that right here and with my family. My next appointment dates would have been Oct. 1, Oct. 29 and Nov. 26. I am going to measure and weigh myself and report it right here. I will be going back to see her on December 16th. My goal is to continue losing weight and gaining fitness to the point that she will not put me back on the medicine after that.
That is a very big goal, but I am going to give it my all.

Wednesday (9/2)

2009-09-03T08:44:00.000-05:00

Weight 195.6

Calories 802
Fat grams 14.3

Biked 9.89 miles in 30:08
Upper body strength training (BFL in gym)
Walked/ran 2.3 miles in 36:48 (around neighborhood with M)

The Aftermath
103 days - that's what it is going to take. Financial matters have been charted, cut and disconnected. It is going to take 103 days for us to feel some relief and get out of our current "sweating it" lifestyle. Surely we can do ANYTHING for 103 days. Here are the things that we are not going to be doing during this period:

eating out
buying anything besides groceries and cleaning supplies
satellite radio
iPhone (will go back to regular phone to save expensive data charges)
doctor visits and medication
any outside activities for our kids (cheerleading, music lessons, etc..)
cutting back satellite TV and internet plans
groceries will be food - no drinks, snacks or treats

Here's what is going to happen:

we will be eating healthier and all together
we will be spending more time together and less time running around
we will have a cozy, "just us" kind of Fall
I will be continuing my diet without medication and doctor visits
we are continuing on with our training plans
we are going to get to learn what is important and what is not
we are going to get to learn what is a want and what is a need
I am going to learn a lot of new recipes by being forced to be creative

I will be honest, at first I was extremely sad. I felt that I had just gotten going and making some real progress on the diet. I also felt that it was going to turn into a double failure. The failure of our finances, coupled with the failure of my weight loss. I even began to feel antagonistic about weighing or training, since I envisioned it falling apart in the next few weeks. Then, I realized how stupid I am. I was still taking medication and was already calling myself defeated! I will not get like that. I am a very optimistic person - when things are good and bad. Finally, my optimism shined through. Instead of it being something forced on me, why not turn it into a plan?

Like I said at the beginning, I think the hardest part will be behind us in 103 days. So, why not turn it into a 100 day program? I can do anything for 100 days! So, I will begin in the next week or so to flesh out what the new, simplistic approach will be.

p.s. M said that the gym membership could stay on the list! I am now kind of interested to see what will happen. I am at the approximate weight that most normal people are beginning from. I NEED to lose about 40 more pounds. I feel that I won't lose it as fast, but I think I can have about 15 of it gone by the end of the 100 days. What a feeling of accomplishment that will be - knowing I did it on my own!

Tuesday (9/1)

2009-09-03T08:33:00.000-05:00

Weight 198.0

Calories 828
Fat grams 11.9

Swam 30 laps in 31:00 (gym lap pool)
Lower body strength (BFL in gym)
Walked 2.01 miles in 41:04 (with M in neighborhood)

This was the day of the bad news. To tell you the truth, I just mostly sat in shock and cried off and on. So, it was not productive for anything. BUT, I didn't feel like eating and had already done my strength training and swimming before the news. The walk was a good chance for M and I to talk it out. So, the best I can say for this day is that it eventually ended.

Tuesday (8/31)

2009-09-01T16:42:00.000-05:00

Weight 198.4

Calories 980
Fat grams 9.6

Biked 10.1 miles in 28:51 (stationary at gym)
Walked/ran 2.38 miles in 42:05 (around the block)
Upper body strength training (BFL in the gym)

I had a really good day yesterday - everything was going according to plan. Today has been another story. I won't go into any detail, because it does not matter. We were dealt a financial blow today that is going to effect everyone in our family for a while. We are going to have to sit down tonight and cut our budget to the bone. I know that the fat doctor and medicine will have to go. It is extra and there is no room for extra. I am hoping to hang onto the gym - it is not much per month, because M's work has a corporate membership rate. It is also my only hope of not picking up weight while away from the doctor and meds.
So, beginning Friday, I will be on my own. This is such a depressing thought to me. I was doing so well. But, as I have tried to comfort myself today, I realized these things:

Running and walking don't cost anything
I have a a bike I have wanted to ride, so now here is my chance.
If I can't hold onto the gym, I have weights under the bed.
Not eating more than 1000 calories or 20 fat grams doesn't cost anything either.

I am convincing myself that alot of the things I have been doing are free and I can keep doing them. Wouldn't it be awesome if I found out that I was doing some of it on my own. I think I may be able to add the doctor and meds back after December, but we will have to wait and see.

I wish I had some great and uplifting message, but I just don't today. Maybe tomorrow will be better after laying everything down on paper.

Weekend recap (8/28 to 8/30)

2009-08-31T10:22:00.000-05:00

Friday
Weight 198.9

Calories 1064
Fat grams 17.5

Walked 2.03 in 42.51 (around neighborhood)
Strength training (gym weight room)

Saturday
Weight 198.2

Calories 906
Fat grams 8.8

Biked 12.11 miles in 36:51
Walked/ran 3.04 miles in 52:47
Swam 16 laps in 15:00

Sunday
Weight 198.0

Calories 1153
Fat grams 20.5

Walked 1.99 miles in 40:50

How did I do? Pretty good, I think. It seemed to take forever on Saturday, but M did go with me. That always makes the time more enjoyable. When we got there, the old ladies were beginning their water aerobics, so we got wet, got out and showered. Then after the bike and run, we got wet again. I felt like I changed clothes more than I worked out. I think the trick is to get there early. My eating has been good (always a little rough on Sunday). We eat at M's parent's house on Sunday and I don't have much control of the menu. So many adaptations - see what I am talking about!
So, plans for this week:

Strength training: My strength training has felt weak, repetitive and stagnant lately. So, I began following the Body for Life program this morning (for strength training and abs only).
Schedule and time: I have come to realize that more distance is not necessarily better. I am going to try to work my swimming and biking into whatever fits into 30 minutes. Then, I am going to hold myself to 40 minutes of walking/running. The Body for Life programs takes about 45 minutes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This will keep my daily total to around 2 hours. I had been trying to increase distance as I went, but I have worked my way up to distances that took too long and left me too tired by week's end.
Biking: It is going well - would love to ride my bike. I am going to have to make it happen somehow.
Swimming: Not a lot of improvement in this area. I have not found a program, but need to work on that. I am just swimming laps with no purpose or plan.
Running/walking: This is going a lot better. I can consistently run when it is time. I cannot run 1/4 of a mile yet, but it is improving.
Health: I will be getting my blood count checked again on Thursday (monthly dr. appointment). I really think that it is low again. I have been pale and my heart has been skipping beats when under a strain. The biggest problem is that I have no breath. I have to stop running because I am sucking air. It also effects my swimming rhythm. If it is low again, I am going to schedule my yearly "girl" visit and talk to them about it. I know it is not a gastro problem, because they did a poop test. So, I guess the next possibility is the girl stuff. I know the solution will be an ablation, but I am a little apprehensive about that. I am a scaredy-cat and I also don't want to miss the trianing.

So, that's the recap. Later today - excuses. I have come up with every excuse in the book and worked through many of them. I thought I would put my thoughts on "paper" and it might help someone else.

I DID IT - Goal accomplished

2009-08-28T08:16:00.000-05:00

I weighed 198.9 this morning!

The next goal is 171.6 - M's weight this morning. Yes, I asked him to weigh and he did; such a sweet man.

I am thrilled, especially since the road from 201 to below 200 took almost 2 weeks! I am energized and ready to skip onto the next goal quickly.
Here is a breakdown of my future goals and estimated dates:

275 - beginning 2/7/09
250 - 4/18/09
230 - 6/6/09
200 - 8/28/09
171.6 - 10/3109 (estimate)
150 - 12/21/09 (estimate)
130 - 2/8/10 (estimate)

Isn't it odd how close it will be to the 1 year mark (if all goes by plan)? When I began, I put my daily weights on a spreadsheet and got an average daily weight loss over a couple weeks. I had predicted to be below 200 on 8/16/09. I predicted this in March, so I did not miss it by much!

The doctor told me that this medicine may lose its effectiveness over the long term, so there is always a possibility that I won't meet these marks at these times. If that happens, she will take me off of the medicine for 3 months while I try to maintain the loss I have to that point. So, theoretically, these dates could be put off by 3 months. I am OK with that. To tell the truth - I will probably be happy after 175. I won't stop until I am at 130 to 140, but I will be satisfied. I have been taking the medication since March 26th and have not seen any slow down, so maybe I will beat that prediction!

Thursday (8/27)

2009-08-28T08:13:00.000-05:00

Weight 201.1

Calories 1001
Fat grams 11.00

Walked 2.16 miles in 43:22 (road near office)
Swam 1250 meters in 30:00 (gym lap pool)

Regular day - busy day - lots of adaptations. We went to a football game in the evening, so I walked during lunch and swam at bedtime. BUT, I did it.

Wednesday (8/26)

2009-08-27T09:24:00.000-05:00

Weight 201.1

Calories 1042
Fat grams 13.5

Biked 13.04 miles in 37:58
Walked/ran 2 miles in 36:01
Strength training

Yesterday got worse as it went. It was very busy, very disrupted and very frustrating. Oh well, today is a new day. I did complete all of my training and stayed fairly close to my nutrition targets. I so badly want to see that scale go below 200 - I think that is the main source of my frustration. I want it to go below and keep going steadily for a while, so that I don't have to watch it bump back over 200 several times. I know it is an arbitrary goal, but it has become very important.
OK, next goals (from 200 pounds to 175 - from 9/1 to 10/31):

To weigh less than M - this has only happened for about a six month period before having children. He now weighs 175ish (I am going to ask him to weigh after I break 200, so I will have an exact mark to shoot for). Man, he is so tolerant. "Here, come weigh, so I can draw a target on your back"
My ultimate goal is to be able to run exclusively on the run days. I have walk/run days (M, W, Sa) and then I walk the others in order to recover. On the run days I want to be able to run the whole distance. This is a large goal! I feel positive that I can get there. My stamina is really improving. The funny thing is that it is not my legs anymore that keep me from running longer - it is my lungs. I begin to really suck wind after about 1/8 of a mile. I will set my current goal to be able to run a lap on the 1/4 mile track at every run segment. Something like run 1 lap, walk 1/2 lap - repeat until finished.
I will begin to ride MY bike. There is always something that stops me, but I must insist. T made the cross country team at school, so I have to pick him up at 4:15 - so no riding to work and back until he finishes with that. I have to make a time and place to see how it is to ride my bike and also to experience what I may need.
I will find an ab workout, a program to improve my lung capacity, a training program for swimming and a stretching routine and put them to use.
I want to become more adventurous. I will buy a Sport ID, some pepper spray and take my phone, then not let myself be intimidated by solitude, animals and conditions. Adventure is one of the things I love about being more fit, but I still find myself being a weinie - especially when it comes to dogs and snakes. Side note: If I am ever found dead during an adventure, please don't cry for me. I would rather die during a really good training adventure than die a slow and humiliating death on the couch weighing 275 pounds.

How do you like my new terminology: training, nutrition and adventure. I am replacing diet and exercise in my vocabulary. I do not want to focus on these anymore - they both seem like something that someone makes you do. Picture a stern doctor in a white coat, "Little Old Fat Girl, you must follow a diet and exercise plan in order to lose weight or else." I would rather use the words training and nutrition - something I choose. "I am trying to eat certain things in order to be more healthy and training for a sprint triathlon". Really, the only exercise I am doing now that was mandated by the doctor is the daily walk.

Also, I feel very strongly and differently than I ever have about the adventure side. I don't like to walk on a track - but I will if I need to check distances and train. I prefer striking out on any trail or surface in any direction. I have seen more sunrises and sunsets in the past 6 months, than my whole life combined. I have seen beautiful landscapes, flowers, and people. I don't feel that training is just training with a chart in a gym. I have somewhat shucked most of the conventional wisdom out there. I want to run like I feel comfortable. I want to swim because I like it - not in certain times and routines all the time. I want to feel the wind in my hair as I ride my bike, not the fan from the stationary bike under the AC. Now, having said all of that, I know that some routine and training techniques are helpful and necessary - I just don't want that to be my only training. I want the park trail, the family walk, the just for the heck of it bike ride. I want to walk the pool with KB on my back. It may not be the prescribed method, but you cannot tell me that it is not useful.

Helpful tip from little old fat girl: Do you strive to drink a certain amount of water per day? - most people think this is benficial. I always struggled to keep up with my water intake. I just could not remember to drink and than remember how much I drank at the end of the day. We started buying 16.9 oz bottles by the case a while ago. In the morning, I take out 4 bottles (your recommended daily intake) and write a number (1-4) on the lid. I take #1-3 with me to work. I strive to drink #1 and start #2 by lunch. Then, I finish #2 and begin #3 before finishing work. Before my training, I finish #3 and then make sure that I have finished #4 before bed. I know this may be a tip for people with pre-Alzheimer's, but it really works for me. If I do really well, I don't count past 4 - I just make sure I have finished 4.

Tuesday (8/25) Just the facts, ma'am

2009-08-26T08:15:00.000-05:00

Weight 200.6

Calories 895
Fat grams 10.2

Swam 1100 meters in 20:00 (gym lap pool)

I don't have anough time this morning for a proper post. All of the nonsense I have been spewing about keeping on with my training during these busy start-of-school weeks has come back to bite me. All other tasks and jobs completely ate my lunch yesterday. I didn't walk for the first time since June 30th and I did not sit down until I fell into my bed at 11:20 last night. I am behind on the following things:

all types of things at work
Kid's paperwork
Helping with studying and checking homework
Cooking dinner
Housework
Any time to recoup, plan or prepare

So, the only thing I know to do is put my head down and get busy. Maybe I will be caught up enough after today to breath and blog.

Monday (8/24) (3 rights make a left)

2009-08-25T08:48:00.001-05:00

Weight 201.5

Calories 786

Fat grams 11.6

Biked 12.04 mile in 38.53 (stationary bike at gym)

Walked/ran 2.5 miles in 42:42 (around the neighborhoods with M)

Planning and replanning your route. I am still trying to find a way to get to work on my bike - not an easy task in this rural area. Our roads are made for going between remote towns really fast. We don't have many shoulders - who needs a stinking shoulder? And, there is absolutely not one bike trail in the whole town. I have been very hesitant to ride on these roads. I am not a scaredy-cat, but I do like my brain in my head and not on the pavement. I can only imagine that is what would happen if clipped by a semi going 60 mph.

So, here is my suggestion - get out a map and look at it with a bike rider's eye. I know - revolutionary. Your brain is programmed to look for the shortest route in the fastest way possible for a car. But, you may be missing the nice little subdivision road that connects right to the road you are trying to get to without riding on the interstate.

Here is the map to my office. Notice that my original plan followed my normal car route to work - quick and easy. The only modification I made was to cut off the busy road without a shoulder and take the litle side road that comes out across from my office. The route would be 3.2 miles and I assumed would take me no longer than 30 minutes. Well, I kept hesitating. I was afraid of the 1.1 miles of this route without a shoulder. The roads without a shoulder are also rated with a 55 mph speed limit going out of "town", so most people would be getting up to 60-65.

Sunday it just came to me. If I go the other way, I think those are very lightly travelled roads and some have a long, nice shoulder. So, I drove it yesterday during lunch. My hunch was correct. Although it makes my commute 4.7 miles (still likely to be under 45 minutes), only about .5 miles of it would be without a shoulder on a busy road. That is a much better scenario. That section will just have to be walked, as it is on a very busy road without any shoulder - just a ditch.

The only thing that worries me about this route is the two bridges over the interstate - which I judge to be about 25 feet high. I don't really like heights and I don't want to meet a semi in those close quarters. So, I will probably wait until the bridge is clear and then pedal like hell.

My encouragement is to try, try, try again. If all else fails, get a bike rack for your car and go where the pedalling is good. That was my next choice.

Weekend recap (8/21 to 8/23)

2009-08-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

Friday
Weight 201.7

Calories 971
Fat grams 19.3

Swam 22 laps in 20:00 (gym lap pool)
Strength training for 10:00 (gym)

Saturday
Weight 200.6

Calories 952
Fat grams 24.6

Walked/ran 3.09 in 51:29 (outdoor track at gym)
Swam 16 laps in 20:00 (gym lap pool)
Biked 10 miles in 30:07 (staionary bike at gym)

Sunday
Weight 201.3

Calories 1095
Fat grams 14.0

Walked 2.02 miles in 41:19 (around neighborhood by myself!)

It was a very good and very fun weekend. My weight is still hanging onto that 200 number. It is aggravating and defeating, but it has to come down soon. This weekend could be summed up with, "It's not good, but it isn't as bad as it could have been". My daughter had a friend over Friday for her birthday, then a party with her friends and a family party all afternoon on Saturday. So, schedules were out and so were good eating habits. But, I did not eat the birthday cookie or any of the other goodies. At home, I did eat some chips and cheese dip (probably about 10 over the day), but I did not eat any of the other stuff (olive bread and sandwiches baked in butter and italian dressing). I actually made a turkey sandwich right in the midst of all that food.

So, I feel good that I did not lose any ground. I go back to the doctor on September 3rd. My goal is to lose 3 pounds this week and 3 more before I see her the next Thursday. That will put me solidly below 200 before that visit.

In contrast to the scale, I feel great. I am able to run consistently (previously I had to try it and see how my knees and hips felt). Now, I go out and warm-up and run without a hitch. That is a wonderful feeling - to know you can run! I am losing inches and inches. I have heard that running is slimming and that seems to be the case. I am actually having a clothing crisis. I have shopped at Catherine's (a plus size store) for a long, long time. I have gone below a Women's 0X (14/16), but I am not quite comfortable in a regular-sized XL (16/18). I know these are the same size ranges, but clothing makers do not see this as the same size. I have several pairs of shorts that are 2X (22/24) that I purchased at the beginning of summer. They have gotten to the point that they will fall off - especially when running. Last night, after walking and holding up my pants, I decided that the 2X's have to go to Goodwill. I don't have any 1X (18/20) or 0X (14/16) shorts, and I don't want to buy any since they will quickly be too big.
So, what to do? I assume that I wear an 18 in pants/shorts and a 16 in shirts. These sizes are VERY hard to find, right in the range between regular and plus. So, I have some ugly, masculine, drawstring running shorts that I will wear until I can go into regular sizes. What a good problem to have.
So, the plan for now through September 3rd:

Keep the calories under 1000 per day and fill those with GOOD food (meat, fruit and veggies)
Keep the fat grams DOWN (preferably under 20 per day)
Bring intensity to my training.
Be consistent with preparation of food and planning of household duties

An update about my training partner: He quit. I don't know when it happened, but his back started bothering him. So, he quit. I am glad that I am able to keep up with a training schedule that he couldn't. That is so different than our past attempts. Also, I can get up in the morning without having to wait on him or talk. I got up at 5:08 this morning, went to the gym, biked and did strength training, and I did not talk to a SOUL until 6:40 when I ordered my iced coffee at McDonald's! It was heaven.

Topics for later discussions - birthdays, the law of degrees and making and remaking a route.

Thursday (8/20)

2009-08-21T08:38:00.000-05:00

Weight 201.7

Calories 851
Fat grams 16.2

Walked 2.0 miles in 39:51 (around the block and neighboring subdivision)

I grabbed my walk during lunch, because I knew the day would hectic. You see, we have a birthday today. My little sweet and sassy baby girl turns nine. So the list of things to do between 5:00 and 10:00 stretched out like a never-ending scroll. There was a scooter to be purchased and put together and groceries to be acquired for a birthday snack feast on Saturday. Also, there were the incidentals to purchase for a spend-the-night guest on Friday night. Oh, and don't forget about the backpack that broke on the very first week of school that had to be returned and replaced. The list just kept going and so the snatched walk ended up being the only training possible. Well, a swim at 9:00 last night was possible but I just didn't have it in me. I will swim today during lunch to make up for it.
I am having to make a lot of modifications this weekend. The weekly Fat Girl Triathlon is going to have to take place on Saturday morning, between 6:00 am and 8:30 am. TB has a haircut at 9:30 and KB has her party at 11:00, then all of the extended family is coming over for a Rock Band snackfest and visit. So, after the early morning hours, my day will not be my own. But, it should be SO much fun.
Oh, and the scooter. KB loved it. She rode it on the street this morning wearing her pajamas in the rain. More on birthdays later today.
The split, in case you are interested:
Lunch 340/9.1
Supper 260/4.0
Snacks 251/3.1

Wednesday (8/19)

2009-08-20T08:27:00.000-05:00

Weight 201.9

Calories 810
Fat grams 19.3

Biked 12.03 miles in 35:10 (stationary bike at gym)
Walked 2.61 miles in 44:33 (outdoor track at gym)

Well, yesterday got better. Check out the splits:
Lunch 260/3.5
Dinner 349/10.6
Snacks 202/5.2

Now, isn't that better. My weight is still hovering, but I'm sure it will come on down. I began charting my weight loss by week (actually I also track it by day also). The weekly weights show a very interesting trend. I lose the most in that first week (4.6 pounds), then less the next (3.5 pounds), then less the next (2.2 pounds), then a very weak loss (.5 pounds). So, guess which week I am on? Yup, the hole - I think I will start referring to this weak week as the "weight hole". Every single month at this time I panic and think that I am stuck at this weight forever!
So, even that depressing statistic is encouraging. The weight hole is ALWAYS followed by the glory week!
Onward and downward!
Extra tip about shoes: Don't buy the pretty white, pink, sparkly shoes. Buy the shoes that don't match anything (mine are dark blue and grey) and you won't be tempted to wear them out by wearing them daily. Any shoes that ugly and mismatched will be reserved for training only - when you don't care if you match.

And then the sun shone down....

2009-08-19T13:26:00.001-05:00

Well, the day took a turn for the better - as they sometimes do.
A salesman brought a tray of sandwiches for lunch. He even brought turkey on wheat with lettuce and tomato, so that took care of lunch.
I cancelled my doctor's appointment to check on my anemia. I figured I would just get it checked when I see her next, so that saved some money.
All of these things aligned just right for me to be able to go to the gym and pedal 12 miles in 35 minutes. Which made up for my laziness this morning.
Perfect.

Tuesday (8/18)

2009-08-19T08:11:00.000-05:00

Weight 201.7

Calories 1050
Fat grams 22.7

Walked 2.5 miles in 51:06 (outdoor track at gym)
Swam 22 laps in 20:00 (gym lap pool)

I am very aggravated with myself. Here let me show you the calorie/fat breakdown for yesterday:
Lunch 370/6.5
Dinner 371/9.8
Snacks 309/6.4

There goes my snacking as a third meal again. I NEED to find a better alternative - like better preparation and scheduling. Also, I am disappointed in my keeping to the training schedule. I very rarely do the ab workout that I have listed. This morning, when the alarm went off, I just rolled over and went right back to sleep. So, now I have it ALL to do this evening (almost 2 hours of training) shoved into an already full schedule. Can you tell that I am frustrated? You can also see it in my weight. It is just hovering, because that is what I am doing - hovering!
Little Old Fat Girl, don't you know that if you slide into this pattern of eating too much of the wrong stuff and shortcutting your training, you're going to get the same results you have many times before. Stick to your schedule! Don't turn off the alarm! Get hold of your hunger and grab some fruit!
OK, I'm better now.
I am frustrated in a lot of ways. I am smart enough to realize it is probably a passing mood or a stray hormone, so I am trying to be cool and let it pass. Here are the things brewing in my world:

Kids! For some reason, my voice is falling on deaf ears. Really, name the topic and they are ignoring me. (Eating habits, rooms, personal hygiene, school stuff, etc..) I just want them to show that they hear me.
Husband - OK, he's alright. He has a lot of work issues that he discusses during our nightly walk. I know it is probably good for him to get it out, but it is hard on my attitude while training. Especially, since the topics are usually the same over and over again.
House - I am behind, enough said.
Bills - They seem to grow and there never seems to be as many paydays as bills.
Work - Very busy and sometimes very aggravating.

I could go on and on. Like I said, I know it will pass. The kids can be grounded, the laundry can be folded, and the bills always get paid. Tomorrow I will be sunshine and inspiration again, but today is not that day.

Monday (8/17)

2009-08-18T08:27:00.000-05:00

Weight 201.9

Calories 1079
Fat grams 17.3

Biked 12.12 miles in 35:47 (stationary at gym)
Walked/ran 2.65 miles in 43:32 (outdoor track at gym)
Strength training

I ran! I mean, I really ran. Without hobbling, painful knees, searching for the stopping point, etc.. I just ran and it felt as good as I thought it would. I believe that I am running about half of each .25 mile lap. Several things help me to run better:

Waiting for a cooler temperature - I just can't enjoy it in the heat of the day at 90 degrees. I also believe the temperature has a lot to do with my fatigue.
Lifting weights, especially those dealing with quads and hamstrings, before I run.
Stretching after the first lap and then again when I am through.

I feel like I am making progress in this area. I biked very well, too. I rode 12 miles in the same time that I was riding 10. I think doing that early in the morning helps - I am too sleepy to do anything else except just pedal fast. The strength training is just regular and ordinary. I am not trying to get better, faster, stronger - just not be so flabby as I lose weight.

So, the kids are back in school today - all day. I really kind of feel lonely already. This change in schedule will help to change my schedule. It frees up my lunch hour and also causes me to do some of my training in the early morning, which I love to hate. I hate to get up before 7:00, but it is such a good time to train. I feel much better all day and my efforts are usually more successful. So, I guess mornings and I are going to have find a temporary harmony.

A funny story: I have a cheesy yoga DVD that I use just for stretching out after training so that my hip doesn't hurt all night. I know I look extremely stupid doing it. Last night, the kids decided to do it with me. So, there were 3 goofballs in the living room trying to stretch half as much as the goofball on TV. It really does work - just looks like a little odd.

Weekend recap (8/14 to 8/16)

2009-08-17T11:13:00.000-05:00

Friday
Weight 202.4

Calories 800
Fat grams 17.0

Walked/ran 2.13 miles in 36:09 (outdoor track at gym)
Strength training

Saturday
Weight 202.4

Calories 963
Fat grams 13.3

Swam 800 meters in 20:00 (gym pool)
Biked 9.5 miles in 30:00 (spin bike at gym)
Walked/ran 2.03 miles in 39:17 (outdoor track at gym)

Sunday
Weight 201.7

Calories 894
Fat grams 13.5

Walked 2.01 miles in 40:12 (around the block)

This weekend was a study in patience. From the beginning to the end, my plan had to be modified, shortened, moved and corrected. I was talking to M about it and here are my two options:

Take on a "don't mess with Princess's training schedule" attitude and make things hard on those around me, or
Try not to get worked up about it. Shoot for a certain training schedule and then don't get excited if it doesn't work out.

I guess I don't have much choice but to take the 2nd option - at least until right before a race. I have a husband, two youngish children, a job and a house to clean. I just cannot get that worked up over a schedule. That being said, I did complete all that I had planned except walking/ running 3 miles on Saturday. I did get 2 completed and it was probably too hot to be walking at that time anyway (90 degrees and 85% humidity). I just don't want to give myself too many excuses or chances to opt-out, because I have proven that I can manipulate those opportunities.

OK, onto something more positive. I am feeling good - really good. I can walk 2 miles with ease and have incorporated more running, probably about half and half after my warm-up lap. I am reading lots of triathlon books and articles and that keeps me excited. I have enticed my niece to consider completing the race in March. M has tried to go with me more and more over the weekend and I do enjoy training with him. I wear him out - and I love that! He went with me Friday and Saturday, but he was too tired for last night's walk and this morning's biking. You just don't know what a change it is for me to keep going after he throws in the towel. It used to be the exact opposite.

I am going back to the doctor on Wednesday. I think I am anemic again. This is sort of a bummer because I HATE taking iron. But, I don't like being pale and tired more. I wish I knew why I am losing the blood cells.

Thursday (8/14)

2009-08-14T14:19:00.000-05:00

Weight 202.8

Calories 989
Fat grams 17.0

Walked 1.5 miles in 32:10 (trail at local park with M)
Biked 10.95 miles in 37:00 (stationary bike at gym)

Did really well on eating and exercising. I am most proud that when things get busy (school beginning), that we stay on track. This is new for me - I usually use it as an excuse to eat whatever, whenever and forget about exercising. Not much to say today - just keeping on keeping on.

Wednesday (8/12)

2009-08-13T08:08:00.000-05:00

Weight 204.8

Calories 720
Fat grams 13.3

Walked/ran 2.02 miles in 36:44 (outdoor track at gym)
Swam 1100 meters in 20:00 (gym pool)
Strength training (gym)
Ab workout (home)

I won the battle of the snacks yesterday. This was my breakdown of calories and fat for each meal:
Breakfast 19/.1
Lunch 302/4.5
Supper 209/4.6
Snacks 191/4.1
Want to hear the super-secret of how I did it? Whenever I wanted a snack, I grabbed fruit! Ha, you thought it was a magic pill. Well, I have not really liked fruit in the past, but there is no denying the results of choosing fruit over chocolate and blow pops. Since it is summer, I have enjoyed cantaloupe, cherries and watermelon from the local farmer's market. Last night, I got out one of every type of fruit we had and cut it all up in a bowl. Once fruit is cut up at our house, everyone wants some. So, I had a bowl of pears, apples, cantaloupe, and grapes - it was very good. It was in the place of my normal Skinny Cow ice cream treat. This is really making a difference - I lost 2 pounds over the day. Last night, KB was sick during the night (coughing and feeling sick), so I skipped out of this morning's training. I will make it up tonight. My choice was get up at 5:45 and be miserable all day or get up at 7:00 and make it up tonight. I think I made the right choice. M was thrilled to sleep in - although he would not admit that he needed the sleep, too.

Tuesday (8/11)

2009-08-12T08:21:00.000-05:00

Weight 204.6

Calories 849
Fat grams 13.7

Biked 10.09 miles in 31:55 - Stationary bike at gym
Walked 3.0 miles in 60:31 - outdoor track at gym

Scheduling and schedules
Oh, it is difficult to get the schedule just right. When we went swimming Monday morning, the pool was FULL. M and I shared a lane, which was OK until some fuzzhead decided we could fit 3 into our lane. This is not possible. So, we biked Tuesday morning with no problems. This morning it was to be a swimming morning - no way. The pool was full again and it was full of triathletes. I know that we could have shared a lane with two of these swimmers, but I understand the frustration. So, we lifted weights and went home for an ab workout. We are scouting the best times for swimming, but my hard-headedness hasn't allowed me to swim when it is probably the best time - late at night. I really like to swim in the morning, before the shower. Also, I was trying to leave only walking in the evening time slot. So, I think I am just pouting. I will go back again tonight around 8:00 and try, try again.
My snacking went a little better yesterday. I still had a lot of calories dedicated to snacks, but it was mostly fruit. I also felt in control of the eating, not just randomly munching. I may need to change my mindset about my meals. I don't eat breakfast, so most of my calories come from lunch and supper. I may need to work in a better alternative, like 3 meals spaced out over the day - such as 11:00, 3:00 and 7:00. That will keep my hunger down and not cause me to resort to snacks to fill the void. Especially with the increased training schedule, I find myself truly hungry at around 9:00pm - the worst time to be snacking!
Speaking of the training schedule - have you noticed that my weight is going back up? I am not concerned, as I feel GREAT! My clothes fit better and I feel better. So, I am just looking at this as an adjustment time and not worrying too much about it. Surely, eating less than 1000 calories and training like this has got to make the scale go down eventually.
Plan for later today and in the morning:
Tonight - swim 22 laps and walk 3 miles
Morning - bike 11 miles and ab workout

Monday (8/11)

2009-08-11T08:19:00.000-05:00

Weight 203.7

Calories 1081
Fat grams 14.4

Swam 500 meters in 20:00 (gym lap pool)
Walked 1.94 miles in 38:55 (outdoor track)

I could not quit eating! It was snacks all day. The stupid thing was that I was not hungry - I was just eating. It is time to get serious - no more snacks with empty calories. I will eat fruit for snacks, or not eat. OK - that part was just for me. I can sometimes get back into the "eat because you can" mentality. But, there is just no reason to make most of my snacks chocolate or blow pops for a whole day. I do not want to slip back into that groove.
Other than that, I did real well. M and I got up early and went to the gym. The pool was very crowded but I did my workout. It look longer than expected, so I missed my weight training. I decided to do it this morning. Then, we went walking last night. It was better and gave me more free time in the evening.
We got up early again this morning and made it to the gym - I hope this becomes a habit. M looks like he is fading, though. It is a mixed emotion - I love for him to go with me, but I would not be sad to go alone. He is very slow moving in the morning and loves to talk! I am not a morning person, so the talking would not be missed.
I guess you never have things just like you want them. So, still doing good and working hard, just need to put a lid on the snacks.

Monday morning recap (8/7 to 8/9)

2009-08-10T10:00:00.000-05:00

Friday
Weight 205.9
Calories 979
Fat grams 18.6
Walked 1.91 in 36:27 (around the neighborhood)

Saturday
Weight 205.0
Calories 774
Fat grams 6.9
Biked 10.5 miles in 31:21 (stationary at gym)
Walked/ran 3.05 miles in 56:35 (outdoor track at gym)
Swam 500 meters in 20:00 (gym lap pool)

Sunday
Weight 203.0
Calories 1105
Fat grams 23.1
Walked/ran 2.95 miles in 59:08 (with family on rural road)

There are several things that are coming together right now.

I am just about to go under the 200 mark - a very big deal and issue for me!
I realized on Saturday that I can complete a triathlon. I did the same distances that the local triathlon calls for and I did it in a time that would not have me in last place (according to last year's results). I still have 7 months to train.
I think I need to find another triathlon at an earlier time than originally planned - sometime in the Fall.
I began to run again! I had tried in June but my knees and hips hurt very bad. I was afraid to push it and risk a real injury. I recently found that my knees hurt when I walk down a hill, so I started running (for some reason they don't hurt while running). So, I started running down hills and into the next flat stretch. Saturday I ran some on the track (completely flat) and then on Sunday I ran some of that trail. I am not even having to wear a brace, and I feel no pain during or after the workout - A BIGGIE for me.
I am finding a desire to go farther, faster, longer. Every single workout I have done over this weekend I really wanted to go farther. I am not tired at all and I actually feel better after training than before.
I put on clothes today that are 5 sizes smaller than my beginning size - 5 SIZES! I started out wearing a 3X (26/28). Today I am wearing size 16 pants and a 0X (14/16) top. That is a big change! I need to put some pictures on here - I promise to take a moment this week and look them up.
M is acting like he is going to train with me. I did not ask him to, I just told him what I had planned. He got up this morning and went to the gym with me to swim. He only learned to swim about 2 years ago, so he hates it. BUT, he went with me.

Well, that is about all that I can brag about and celebrate today. Get up! Get moving! You can do it!

Don't give an excuse, make a statement

2009-08-07T11:56:00.001-05:00

Oh, I get so mad at myself. Why do I care what others - even people I do not admire - think? When I am asked about something, I downplay the good and complain about the bad everytime.
Case in point:
KB (my daughter) likes to play softball, she is also good at it. She made the All-Star team this year, so we are not the only people who think so. She is moving from the age group where the coach pitches to them into the age group where they pitch to each other - underhand in a windmill style. Well, I was a catcher when I played softbal (many years ago). So, when she told us that she would like to pitch, we signed her up for some lessons. I don't know how to pitch and neither does M, so it seemed logical. You would not believe the comments and looks we get when we tell people she is going to pitching lessons. I guess they think we are "those parents" who think their child is the next star. I have gotten so undone by it that I notice myself downplaying. I actually said, "I have to take to her little pitching lesson tomorrow".
WHAT?
I am sure that she believes that "little" is what I think about her pursuits - but I don't. I don't know why I do these things. Why don't I firmly say, "I am taking KB to her pitching lesson tomorrow". If they have something else to say or a face to make, why can't I stand my ground. Or better yet, pick from the phrases below that may build KB up:
"She has been going for a month and doing really well."
"She wants to give it a try and we wanted to help her out."
"I think she will make a good pitcher someday soon".
I am still working on personality flaws.I guess I always will be. I am calling this one out. Just like I don't want to be a convincer anymore, I don't want to be an apologizer either. I pledge to answer questions and declare my intentions clearly and without apology.
Just ask me about my training and plans to complete a triathlon - I pledge to say one of these things:
"I have been training hard and I think I will be ready in March"
"I am really enjoying getting ready"
"Too fat? No, I am ready to take on the challenge!"

The gym police

2009-08-07T08:44:00.000-05:00

I am reading a really good book by Jayne Williams called Slow Fat Triathlete: Live Your Athletic Dreams in the Body You Have Now. I know you cannot imagine why I was attracted to this title!
One of the main things I have gotten from it so far is not to worry about what you look like.
This is a biggie for me. I am very self-conscious, as I am sure most fat people are. I really struggle with this on the track, on the bike, in my swimsuit and especially trying to jog. One time M and I had to do our workout WAY after dark. It was when I was still trying to jog during part of my workout. I remember how great it felt to run with adandon because noone (not even M) could see me. Our street has not street lights, so if there is not a full moon you are in the dark. I didn't have to worry about what was jiggling, if my shorts were riding up or anything else. It was great!
I have really thought about what the book says. I think I have been saying to myself, "I will feel comfortable to do that when I am smaller" or "People would think that was stupid if I were doing that type of machine when they can see that I am so out of shape". I realized yesterday that those thoughts are stupid! We don't wait to give sick people medicine until they meet our "standard". So, why should I wait to do certain things. If I am able (and I know that I am), then why not go for it. There are no gym police (or track police or bike police) that are going to come tell you that you are not small enough, fit enough or whatever enough to do what you want to.
As far as the "judgers" go, they will always be there and they will never be rooting for you. The best response is success.

Weekend plan and improvements for next week

2009-08-07T08:30:00.000-05:00

I really liked putting my plan out there yesterday afternoon - then I can see how I did later. So, you can just ignore these if you want to.

My Friday plan is to walk 2 miles in less than 40:00 minutes. I also need to do an Ab workout (have really been neglecting those this week)
My Saturday plan is to swim 500 meters in less than 20 minutes, bike 10 miles in less than 35:00 minutes and walk 3 miles in less than 60:00 minutes. (The weekly Fat Girl Triathlon)
My Sunday plan is to walk 2 miles in less than 40:00 minutes and not neglect the ab workout.

Improvements/adjustments for next week:

Be in bed by 9:00 to be asleep by 10:00 (may have to use a sleep aid for about a week, since my pattern now is to sleep from 12:00 to 7:00)
Be up by 5:45 and at the gym by 6:00 - workout from 6:00 to 7:00 to be home by 7:15 and out the door by 7:50 (gotta love working so close to home!)
Get things ready in the evening - ironing, lunches, backpacks, etc.. (School starts on Friday!)
Get a list together so that my housework is done a little bit each night - this is lacking. When my helpers go back to school all of those jobs go back to me.
Pack my gym bag well, so that I am not fumbling for things or going without things all of the time
Try to have an attack mentality during workouts - don't just do it, do it well. Commit that time to giving it all I have.
Look up the proper bike maintenance routine. My bike has been hanging on the garage wall for about 6 years (with breaks to wipe off cobwebs and fill the tires)
Buy these things and install/prepare them: helmet, bike computer, rearview mirror.
Get the bike and my stuff ready - only one more week until the bike commute begins.
Complete several trial runs and road-type riding trials.

Thursday (8/7)

2009-08-07T08:13:00.001-05:00

Weight - 206.1

Calories - 1016
Fat grams - 13.1

Swam 500 meters in 25:00 WITHOUT STOPPING (in gym pool)
Lifted weights
Walked 1.5 miles in 32:30 (local park trail with M and KB)

I really did it today. I still felt just as sluggish when I began as I did the day before. You know the type of sluggish I am talking about - cramps, headache, lethargic feeling, hungry, tired from all week workouts, etc... I had worked myself up into a whiney mess. I was thinking, "I may have to just skip the workout on the worst day of my period every month".
BUT, I used the argument that I use on my children all of the time. If you are going to commit the time to something, you might as well give it all you have for that time period. Being sluggish will not shorten the time, so give it all you got! My goal was to swim 10 laps, rest, then swim the last 10. I was also giving myself a pep talk about really attacking the exercise. You can complete 20 laps swimming smoothly, with a strong effort, or you can just swim 20 laps to be finished. I have to admit my Wednesday workout was just to be finished. So, I took off on the first 10 with a good, purposeful stroke really attacking the job - not just slogging through. Amazingly, when the 10th lap came I was not nearly as tired as I had been. So, I thought I would just swim 2 more and see how I felt - then 20, then 2 more. The next thing you know I was finished!
I used the same mindset in weights - I didn't just throw the weights up and down. I tried to focus on and give effort to the muscle group I was working on. You can either lift the required reps to be finished or really try to accomplish something - either way it takes 20 minutes!
Then, supper and out to the local park. I really love and hate to walk on nature trails. I LOVE that it is beautfiul, I am usually with my family, we usually take the dog and it is a good break. I HATE that it is not long enough or fast enough to satisfy my drive to perform.
So, I went to bed TIRED but so satisfied. It is was a day that turned out very good, when I was expecting to just survive.

Doctor appointment update

2009-08-06T15:18:00.000-05:00

I had an appointment today - very successful appointment.
I weighed in at 208 fully clothed - down from 220 on July 1st.
So, I am very happy and glad for a little boost in confidence and encouragement. One bit of info that picked up while there is that I will be the Biggest Loser when I weigh about 160. Of course, this is not my goal weight but it will feel good to have lost the most weight under this plan.
So - onward and downward.
On the agenda for this afternoon:
Swim 20 lengths - trying to stop only once to catch breath
Lift weights
Walk 2 miles

Wednesday (8/5)

2009-08-06T10:38:00.000-05:00

Weight - 205.0

Calories - 875
Fat grams - 6.3

Walked 2.0 miles in 42:27 (with KB on outdoor track)
Biked 10.03 miles in 34:13 (stationary bike at gym)

I am going to HAVE to change my training times and divisions. I really need to get up earlier and do at least one of my goals. Then, I need to go to bed earlier to make that possible. By the time I took care of my family duties and personal needs yesterday I was just about wiped out. I rode at a lower intensity level and slower pace on the bike. I walked slower and with less enthusiasm on the track - I am just tired. I guess the bright spot is that I did it! It doesn't have to be pretty, just complete.
If I begin biking or swimming in the morning (with a little weight training if possible), then that will only leave the walk for evening. I think that would make my chance of every being able to run a lot greater.
I was also suprised when I saw my calories and fat for yesterday. I am sure that also contributed to my lack of energy. It is also hard once a month - if you know what I mean!
So, I sound whiney but I am really glad I did it and am pushing myself to find a time, pace and division that will be challenging but not overwhelming.

OK, how do I get started?

2009-08-05T13:13:00.000-05:00

The first and most important thing is just get started. You will not be able to complete a triathlon at the end of the first month or even the end of the first year, but you can do better than you are now.
Here are my suggestions for beginning a true, determined plan to become fit and healthy.

Save $500 if you have health insurance or $1,000.00 if you don't.
Make an appointment with a family doctor. You don't need a fancy specialist or a clinic that may try to steer you to surgical procedures or "programs" that may not be helpful.
Let them do blood work or whatever necessary tests they need to. If you don't feel that they are necessary, don't give up. Find another doctor. You want to feel comfortable that the doctor you eventually choose is in tune with what you are trying to do, because of the next point.
Listen to your doctor. You paid them for their expertise and advice, so do as they say. If a medication or method does not work, discuss it with them honestly and bluntly. You would not beat around the bush or disregard your doctor if you had cancer, don't do it now.
Do exactly what they say - no shortcuts, no days off. Letting yourself think you can cut back tomorrow or work out a little more tomorrow is a lie to yourself. When you are thinking about today, tell yourself that you have no other option but to follow the plan. Don't entertain excuses.
Don't beat yourself up if you eat too much or don't exercise enough. Try again tomorrow.
Break your huge goal into small ones. A good guide is the 10% rule. If you need to lose 100 pounds, worry about 10 first. Work on, focus on and celebrate those first ten.
In the same pattern, do not look at your goal fitness result and concentrate on the grand total. If you would like to complete a marathon, divide it by 10. A marathon is 26.2 miles. So make your first goal to be able to walk 2.6 miles every Saturday. Call it your Fat Marathon. Eventually, you will be able to walk 5.2 (20% marathon) or even RUN 13.1 (half-marathon) as you get close to your weight goal.
The important factor is that you may not be able to complete your grand total goal within a year, but if you are working towards it then you are doing more than you used to.

So, what can I do while I save my doctor money or until it is the right time to begin?

Don't wait for just the right time, right place, right clothing, right equipment, etc... As far as I can determine, all you need to start walking this afternoon is a pair of tennis shoes. Walk around your block, walk around the local high school track, walk at the local park, just walk.
You don't need anything to cut back on your calories and fat. Go online to Calorie King for free and look up your calories and fat for one week - you can keep it in a $.99 notebook. Keep an honest total of your fat and calories, paying close attention to the serving sizes.
Using the system above, begin cutting each by 10% each week. If you have been eating 3000 calories and 50 grams of fat per day, then eat eat 2700 and 45 per day next week, cutting 10% each week until you get to your goal.

Last thoughts - I have found these things to be true for me. They may not apply to you, but I am putting them out there.

Take your eyes off of the scale and clothing sizes for the first 90 days. Actually, close your eyes completely. I weigh every single day, even though many experts tell you not to. The difference is that I don't let the scale or my clothing sizes dictate my success. I weigh because I like to collect data. If there were a method of weighing each morning without seeing the result until Saturday, I would do that - but I have not found a way. I just keep the information in case my weight loss slows or becomes a gain. Then, I go back over my eating and exercise habits to see if I can find a cause. I usually find a cause that occurs every month - if you know what I mean. What I am trying to say is that you need to be mindless about your plan. Set out what you are going to do, set your sight to the end of the current period (week, month, 6 weeks) and blindly follow that plan.
In the same way, you need to be mindless about your exercise program. Set your goal, make your plan and then do that. I have walked in the rain and after 11:00 at night (out of town ball-game), but I walked. My family says, "I wish I was as dedicated as you". Bull! I am weak in that respect. I cannot miss, because then I will believe I can decide when I want to walk and when I don't. If I could decide daily, I would be performing terribly. I don't have a choice, so I don't entertain choices. I have my preferred routine (with my family, on a nice trail, in comfortable weather) and I enjoy those. I also have to exercise in adverse conditions (alone, in the dark, in bad weather - or worse yet, a treadmill) and I endure those. But, I exercise. That is the point.
Once you have completed a mindless, focused 6 week period you will be suprised at how much better you feel and how much you have accomplished. Take a day to revel in the feeling of a good job, then set a new goal and make a new plan.
Think about how long it took you to gain the weight and become unfit. In my case, it has been about 13 years. So, how can I expect to be fit and trim in 4 weeks? But, if you don't start now you are just adding to that total. When I began in March, I used a spreadsheet to chart how long it would take me to lose the weight at 3 pounds per week - a very aggressive goal. I was discouraged to realize it would take me until the next Christmas. But, I began to look at the whole picture. I would be below my last high before I really went bad (254) by the middle of April. I would be in the 230's (a long ago goal) by the middle of May. I would be under 200 by August 15th. That goal has emblazoned in my mind this whole time. I believe I will be light enough to run without injury when I weigh around 170 (around November 7th). I would be finished by December 16th. Once I let myself dream about what each of these weights would be like for me, I actually got excited. I also realized that every week that I put it off or did not get serious was one more week past December 16th. Sure, 10 months is a long time - but so was 13 years.

Now, I have found that I average 2.8 pounds per week and have adjusted by goals accordingly. I also extended my goal. At the time, 150 was almost beyond my imagination, but it still left me in the Overweight category. I did not want to work this hard and still end up overweight. So, I changed my goal to 130. That should take me until 2/13/10 at least. I also made some new fitness goals. I began to look into races that were held in March. I found a local sprint triathlon that is held at a local college in March each year. I can't swim 400 meters, ride my bike 15 miles and run 3 miles - all at one time. But, I can swim 500 meters three times a week, ride the bike 10 miles three times a week, and walk 2 miles every day - and that is a good start. It is about setting your mind to a goal and not letting it stray.

A side note concerning the doctor's visit(s); When I went the first time, the doctor ordered general blood work. It was found that I was EXTREMELY anemic. I have no idea how long I had been, but I began taking iron supplements daily for 90 days. I was no longer sluggish or debilitatingly tired. I also stopped having headaches every afternoon and being cold all the time. If not for the doctor, I would still be trying to lose weight on this uphill course. I was really hesitant to go to the doctor, because I did not want to find out I had something serious (heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure). I decided that none of those conditions excluded diet and exercise and none of them get better by sitting down and quitting. So, I went and I was helped.

Tuesday (8/4)

2009-08-05T08:22:00.000-05:00

Weight - 206.4

Calories - 884
Fat grams - 18.2

Walked 2.03 miles in 40:27 (around the neighborhoods with M and dog)
Swam 500 meters in 20:00 (gym pool)
Strength training for 20:00 (gym)

I had a very good day, especially with the snack situation. It was still like a 3rd meal, but I managed to keep the fat and calories down. I have developed a love for iced coffee from McDonald's. I set out last night to develop a less fattening variety - and I succeeded! The McD's version is 90 calories and 5 grams of fat. I made one this morning that was 123 calories and 0 grams of fat. Mine had real sugar in it - cannot stand artificial sweeteners. I am looking for sugar-free vanilla syrup, then it will be about 60 calories and no fat! I am proud that I find something that I like and then set out to recreate it. That way, I feel like I can have what I want and not feel deprived. Somehow my mind gets focused on something it wants and it is hard to go on without giving it some variation of what it craves. At least it only gets focused on one thing about every month!
The workouts are tiring and wear on me as the week goes along. Work has been extremely busy, so that is compounding the fatigue. This too shall pass. I only have to bike and walk tonight and it tapers off toward the weekend. I am going to begin a better sleeping routine next week which should also help.
I am so excited that the 200 mark is within sight. I really cannot relate how important that mark has become to me. It seems like the line of crazy obese and something managable. When I had my second child, the OB said "stay vigilant not to cross over the 200 mark - it really makes it difficult to lose". Of course, I blew right by it. I wish I had listened, because it has been SO true. I have not been below 200 in the 10 years since that pregnancy. Also, a 75 pound loss was an amount that I really could not believe when I started. I had struggled mightily to lose 20 pounds on my own, so 75 sounded impossible or at least improbable. I think I always knew that if I could get beyond 200, I would be committed and determined. Wow - I cannot wait to see a "1" on my scale!
I get to go to the doctor tomorrow for a progress check - I have gotten to where I look forward to these. It is nice to document the progress, but also to hear the doctor say, "You are really doing well! - how do you feel?" It becomes a great incentive to sit with someone, look at your progress, and delight for a minute in your accomplishments.
Also, I am going to go through my old pictures tonight to post some over the years. I will be hiding my face and cropping others out. I really want this site to be about encouragement and a record for me. I would not want anyone in my family to harmed by something I say on here. I just want to post the pictures so that I will have a record and anyone that needs encouragement can see that I was EXTREMELY obese and I did it. You can too! I do not want to have to censor what I want to say or how I feel so that it would not be taken wrong - I want it to be real.

Passion Crush .... or the birth of a mantra

2009-08-04T10:56:00.000-05:00

I have a Passion Crush. Let me explain:
I have coined a new term, passion crush. It is first-cousins with determination crush and purpose crush. I hear that it's uncle is character crush. A passion crush is when you hear someone's story of some accomplishment and you follow along with it just like you would think and go over a real crush. What was he wearing today? Did he just look at me? Does he know I exist? Could it really be fate, etc..?
But, in contrast, a passion crush is a focus and quest for a passion like the other person's. It doesn't even have to be the same passion, just that you admire the passion they have and you want to pursue a passion like that. My passion crush right now is a endurance bicyclist named Jill Homer. She began riding bikes through the snow in Alaska with no real aim or goal. She enterred races, won them and set records without any real desire to do anything but ride. She writes a blog that you can find here. She also wrote a book about her race along the Iditarod trail in February of 2008. You can find it here.
She is amazing - truly. But, that is not my fascination. I will NEVER, did you hear me say never, ride in the snow! I hate weather below 40 degrees - HATE. The thing I hate most is being cold. So, I am not trying to immulate her or work towards her accomplishments. I simply love her passion and honesty about the thing she is passionate about.
She describes how she feels during the best and worst parts of training and racing - and I can relate. Of course, she is talking about riding 50 miles per day and blizzards and I am struggling through my training program and heat. But, the determination is similar. She says things that pull me through when I am tired, unmotivated or whiney.
One of the things she does (seems unintentional) is to repeat a montra. It helps her to just keep going, to ride through the Bonk (a term she uses to describe mindlessly riding through exhaustion).
I have come up with a mantra of sorts. I realized at some point that I was holding myself back because I kept telling my self that I could not do this and I was too heavy for that, or that my legs were too short to do that succesfully. Somewhere along the way I realized that I was not as frail as I told myself. I let myself believe that it was too hot, too far, not a good road, etc... Eventually I began to chant to myself one of these mantras:
I am not frail, I am not frail, I am not frail
I am not weak, I am not weak, I am not weak

Roll your eyes, but it works. Nothing like a rhythmic chant to keep your feet going, your pedals turning or your arms stroking.

Side story: M laughs at me for riding my stationary bike living vicariously through a girl riding miles and miles in blizzard conditions. I told him that it motivates me and makes me thankful for the sweat dripping off my chin. I hate being cold - really.

Monday (8/3)

2009-08-04T08:30:00.000-05:00

Weight - 206.6

Calories - 986
Fat grams - 23.5

Walked 2.0 miles in 38:20 (outdoor track)
Biked 10.0 miles in 29:25 (stationary bike at gym)
Strength training - 20 minutes

Really good day, except my struggle with snacks. That's nothing new, huh? Positive thoughts and ideas first:

The kids were gone to the grandparents for the night so my husband and I could work out at a much more leisurely pace.
My husband (I'll call him M for now on) worked out just like me and was tired! I know that should not be positive, but it made me feel good. He is 6'0", weighs about 160 and is still in "high school" shape. So, he usually kicks my butt at anything physical that we try. I was happy that my workout was not just hard for me, but also for the "average" man.
He expressed a desire to alter our workout times and routine when school started back. That really went right along with my plans I discussed yesterday. We are going to try to get up an hour earlier and knock out 2 of the 3 things we do daily. I really think it will cut down on my level of fatigue. Also, our kids will sleep through the early session so it will not feel like so much time apart. They are not old enough to join the gym and too old for the nursery, so they have to just sit and wait on us. When school starts, they will only be home and awake from 4:00 to 9:00. After you subtract homework and dinner, I am sure they don't want to spend the remainder waiting for us at the gym.

OK, now the not so positive:

I have got to get over this drive for snacks. I have just about turned my snack list into a 3rd meal. I am breaking my daily calorie and fat intake into this average - lunch - 350/7, supper - 350/7, snacks - 300/6. This has got to change. My snacking has been escalated by my increase in training. I go about my day as usual, then when I get through with my training I am starving. Maybe the morning routine will help this. Then, I can spread my hunger over lunch and snacks. For now, I am going to buy very low calorie/fat foods for snacks - mostly fruit. Fruit has the added benefit of being cold and sweet - two things I crave in the evening. I have developed a craving and desire for iced coffee. I am going to investigate ways to have that without the caffeine and fat.
I am a schedule dummy. I put my swimming days on the two days that our gym has kids in the pool. After being frustrated several times about not being able to get a lane, I decided to switch the days. Voila! Isn't it funny the things we struggle with that we are completely in control of changing.

Really, that's the only negative going on right now. I am so very pleased that I am meeting my nutrition and training goals. It is funny, the weight loss has really become a secondary consideration. Of course I want to be thin and fit, but it does not consume me anymore. It is just a byproduct of what I am doing. As I approach the 200 pound mark, that is becoming more my mindset. I have not weighed under 200 pounds in about 9 years, so anything below that feels like I am a regular person. I understand that I am still in the obese category, but I do not see myself as a fat person who should not be doing these things. I am not giving up, I am just not as obsessed with the number on the scale as I was. I think at first I was afraid that at some point the scale would just go right back up - like it had before. Now, I know that I am doing my best and it will continue to slowly move down. The next deciding factor will be when I meet my goal around January and quit taking the medicine. I will not lie and say that does not worry me. I think I would rather quit eating than see those numbers go back up. Man, I should have put that in the negative section! Just keeping it real - I would be a fraud if I pretended that did not worry me. I guess an overeater is a lot like an alcoholic - it is for life. I may weigh 130 pounds one day and complete triathlons, but I will also feel one binge away from being back at 275. Wow, that was hard to write but I know that it is true. Maybe I will become like a recovering alcoholic. Instead of having to avoid all alcohol for fear of sliding right back down, I will have to steer clear of Marble Slab Creamery.

I know I am making light of this, but it makes you wonder if there is a psychological link to lack of control in consuming alcohol, drugs or food. I was strictly powerless at one point to stop. Maybe someone with a PhD could look into that and get back to me.

Just call me the Convincer

2009-08-03T12:59:00.001-05:00

I do not know why but I always try to get people to see things my way. It has gotten ridiculous! I hereby renounce my past love of convincing. From today forward, I will like the things I like, hate the things I hate and not care whether you like them or hate them. If I feel strongly about something, I will do it. If you like the results that I get, please join me. If you don't, then feel free to try something else.
For my children, I will only be a line judge. I will not enforce my preferences, I will only let them know when their's are out of bounds. Why do I think that everyone has to do it my way? Why do I care whether someone thinks I am right, correct, smart, stupid, etc..?

Weekend recap

2009-08-03T10:31:00.001-05:00

I went out of town to see my parents this weekend, so I will have to summarize:

Friday (7/31)
Calories 985
Fat 9.3
Swam 1000 meters (lap pool)
Biked 10 miles (stationary)
Walked 3.99 miles (2.66 with girl/1.33 with mom and aunt - rural road)

Saturday (8/1)
Calories 1061
Fat 23
Walked 2.5 miles (2.5 with aunt - rural road)

Sunday (8/2)
Calories 940
Fat 14.7
Walked 4.22 miles (1.72 alone - rural road/2.5 with family - gravel trail)

My weight this morning was 206.6. I was unable to weigh during the weekend, but was pleased that it had gone down and not up. It is always difficult for me when I am traveling and off a schedule.

We had a great time and I did not do too bad on eating well. I certainly exercised plenty to make up for it.

I am planning a way to fit my training into my day better. Right now I am having to do all of it at night. School will be starting in about 2 weeks, so that will have to change. I am going to get down my bike and rehab it this weekend. It is 3.2 miles from my home to work. It is a very hilly route - some parts not really for bike riding. I need to get a helmet. I am a little afraid of being hit by a car or falling into the road, but I have a mountain bike and I can ride into the ditch if necessary. There is only about .25 mile that does not have a shoulder and is not a residential/rural street.
Anyway, that will give me 6.5 miles of bike riding daily so I could cut out my evening stationary bike riding. I will also train in more real conditions like I will find in a triathlon.
I am also going to start bringing my lunch and walking to the end of my road during my break. It is a 2 mile loop from my office to the end of the business park. The road is very smooth, very lightly travelled and goes downhill from my office to the end. I will have a good uphill climb at the end.
This plan really pleases me for several reasons:

I will be able to scratch the biking and walking portion of my training off of my list during normal daily routines. If my family wants to walk in the evening, it will just be extra.
I will save money. This is not my main motivation, but it will be nice. I won't be using much gas and I won't be eating out during lunch.
Bringing my lunch gives me so much more control over what I eat and I can plan ahead.

So, you may be asking yourself why I haven't done this before. Well, my kids are at home and I would not want them to wait on me to bike home if there was an emergency. Also, I fix their lunch right now and would not have time to get there and back in time. I need to get a helmet and give it a trial run this weekend, so I can determine how early I need to leave. Also, to check out any obstacles that I did not realize while driving to check mileage.

I think I will have to bring clothes to work to change into - at least until it gets cooler. The only problem with this southern weather is that when it gets cooler, it gets rainy. I don't know if I will go to bed praying for rain because of the break it will give me or cursing the rain because of the missed training opportunity. Luckily I have short, easily maintained hair. So, if I bring my clothes over the weeked and ride in shorts, I should have the personal hygiene/clothing issues sorted out.

I know there will be huge items I have not thought about, but luckily my boss and husband are both very accomodating.

2009 07 29

2009-07-30T16:12:00.000-05:00

Weight - 210.1

Calories - 1022
Fat grams - 14.6

Weight training
Miles walked - 2
Meters swam - 1000

A very good day. I am becoming tired from the pace of training, but I choose to continue and hope that my body will catch up. I know that there is always a lag when you step up. I had to rearrange the schedule a bit, because I am going home on Friday! I will only be able to walk during the weekend, so I put my weekly Fat Girl Triathlon on Friday instead of Saturday. I really cannot wait. My sister has decided to begin a diet just like mine, with a doctor's supervision. She had a stomach staple done about 8 years ago, but it has not helped her get off and keep off the weight.
I really hope she sees success like mine. I wish I knew what to say to her. I wish I could let her walk around in my body for one day. To feel what it feels like to not be limited by your size and level of fitness.
I am kind of tired of hearing this, "I wish I could lose weight like you have, work out like you", etc.. I want to scream, "YOU CAN!". I am realizing more and more that it is mostly in your mind. Even if you cannot run a 10k, you can walk around your block - and that is better than what you did yesterday. Also, you may wake up one day and realize that you can do these things. I am finding in myself a blind desire to go forward. I used to become bored on a track or treadmill, start shortcutting myself, making deals. Now, I just do what has to be done - almost like switching off the brain for that time period.
I am happy in that place - and even more happy in the place where you are sweaty, tired and feeling proud of yourself.
I read a quote the other day - it is kind of extreme but it sums it up well.
"If I am still standing at the end of the race, hit me with a board and knock me down, because that means I didn't run hard enough" - Steve Jones
I feel that way when the workout gets tough or I go to bed not very tired. I want to finish the day without one more ounce of energy to spare, that way I'll know that I gave it my all.

July 2009 - up to 7/28/09

2009-07-30T16:09:00.000-05:00

Beginning weight - 217.2
Ending weight - 209.9
Net difference - (7.3)

Average calories - 920
Average fat grams - 17.8

Miles walked - 61.24
Meters swam - 2000
Miles biked - 9.03

June 2009

2009-07-30T16:08:00.001-05:00

Beginning weight - 232.1
Ending weight - 218.7
Net difference - (13.4)

Average calories - 845
Average fat grams - 16.8

Miles walked - 47.26

May 2009

2009-07-30T16:07:00.000-05:00

Beginning weight - 244.0
Ending weight - 233.5
Net difference - (10.5)

Average calories - 877
Average fat grams - 18.3

Miles walked - 29.61

April 2009

2009-07-30T16:05:00.000-05:00

Beginning weight - 255.5
Ending weight - 245.0
Net difference - (10.5)

Average calories - 930
Average fat grams - 21.61

Miles walked - 21.61

March 2009

2009-07-30T16:03:00.000-05:00

Beginning weight - 264.5 (3/25/09)
Ending weight - 260.0
Net difference -(4.5)

Average calories - 960
Average fat grams - 23.7

Miles walked - 4.12

Background

2009-07-30T15:42:00.000-05:00

Well, on March 25th of this year I decided that I was tired of being fat. I have been overweight to morbidly obese all of my adult life - and most of my childhood. I had reached my highest weight of 275. On a person of my height (5'2.5"), that put me at the very top of the BMI table. I felt like I was headed towards diabetes and knew that heart disease had to be sneaking up on me, too.
I knew that I would need a doctor. I chose to go to a local doctor and see what non-surgical options I had. I knew that I could probably succeed at losing the weight with surgery, but felt that was my absolute last choice. The doctor looked at me and said, "I can give you some help. You will have to keep the calories and fat down and walk 30 minutes, 5 days per week - but I can help the weight loss."
I began with her plan - between 1000 and 1200 calories, below 30 grams of fat and the walking. I took an appetite suppressant in the morning, and fat and sugar blockers with meals. When my bloodwork came back, we found that I was extremely anemiac - the iron deficient kind. So, I began taking iron at night as well. The most remarkable thing happened - I had energy, and lots of it. Between the increase in iron and a loss of about 20 pounds I was ready to walk. Now, we are not talking about a blazing pace. I walked 1/4 mile and rested, walked another 1/4 and rested. Everytime I walked, my hips killed me. But, I kept walking. I did get in shape and began walking faster and farther. I made myself a promise that if I could ever feel comfortable walking a mile, I would never quit walking. Out of these past 4 months, I have only missed 22 days - and most of those were at the very beginning. In the month of July, I have not missed one day. That includes days when it has rained and days when my child had All-Star practice and games 40 miles away from home. I REFUSE to stop now that I can do it.
During this process, I have become interested in endurance sports stories, Jill Homer in particular. She was pretty much a regular girl that became an Artic bicycle champion. She has completed, finished first and set a record on the same trail used by the Iditarod races - IN FEBRUARY! I know there is no comparison, but a lot of her stories of perseverance have been my inspiration. She talks about how she feels at 100, 400 and 1,000 miles. It is helpful to me when I am at 1/2, 1 and 2 miles. The same principle - keep going!
Over the last few weeks, I have realized that I am in shape enough to swim about 1/2 mile, bike about 10 miles and walk about 3 miles. So, my next challenge is a sprint triathlon. The distance of the race are generally - swim 1 mile, bike 15 miles and run 3 miles. So, you can see that I am not far off the pace.
Some in my family have made fun of me for wanting to do this - calling me Workout Queen and such. But, I just keep thinking, "If I ever get to the place where I can do it, I will never quit doing it" I keep walking farther and faster, I keep swimming well and bicycling is a joy for me. Why should I shrink back and not shine? I feel like I have done that all of my life.
So, the next few entries will be summaries of the months from March to July. After that I am committing to a daily entry of my progress and really any other thing on my mind. It will not be all nutrition, fitness and triathlons. That is just a new part of me.

Hello, my name is Little Old Fat Girl

2009-07-30T15:29:00.000-05:00

I am not so little. Well, actually my story begins at 5 foot, 2.5 inches and 275 pounds. I am still 5'2.5", but I weigh a good bit less. I am not old, either. But, I am getting older everyday. Let's just call it approaching middle age. I am a girl! So, that is the basics.
I think every good and enduring blog should have some ground rules. So, I am making this pledge to my readers (both of you!):

I pledge not to constantly tell you what I am, what I believe and how I feel about any topic. If you read, then you should know these things. I will let you draw your own conclusions. Don't you hate blogger who go on and about who like Mother Teresa they are, then tell about cussing out the teen behind the fast food counter in the next paragraph?
I pledge not to overshare. I think that is pretty self-explanatory. Don't you hate bloggers who make you wish that you had read their blog after breakfast?
I pledge not to promote a cause. Don't you hate bloggers who try to get everyone to eat only Smartees because they love Smartees?
I pledge not to try to sway you - I am just going to put it down like I see it. Don't you hate bloggers who use their anonymous positions to point out your faults?
I pledge to myself not to be intimidated by what others think of my accomplishments. I am not going to make excuses for my accomplishments - even if they are only important to me. I lived my life afraid to succeed for too long.

So, there it is. I am sure I will add some as this goes along. I have been looking for a way to keep my nutrition, fitness, training, Bible study, stories I don't want to forget, and other ramblings in one place. I hope by laying out the details I may inspire or encourage another fat girl.

Thanks for reading!